Chapter 3

That night at home, after a bath and with a glass of whiskey in hand, I was thinking about everything Bianca had said. I know I'm not a teenager who needs to grow up someday, as society demands; but if there's one thing I know, it's that you can't trust women. They're more treacherous and venomous than a snake, liars, self-serving, and fake. They know how to seduce to get what they want and then stab you in the back. I've seen it in my social circle. I see how every woman uses her best smile, attitude, and charm to attract a man's attention, and they always go for the richest and most sought-after. Once they manage to get into their beds, they want the little note of the virtuous woman who was deceived by the scoundrel who now refuses to take responsibility. What's more, I've lived it.

All women are the same, how am I supposed to find one who surprises me, for God's sake? Bianca isn't the woman for that. I like her, she excites me and sometimes offers me a sense of calm, but I can't see myself married to her or anyone else. I gave up on all that years ago.

I can't complain; I've had every woman I've ever wanted, of all colors, tastes, and heights. I've never lacked for women. I've had fun with each and every one, and they're all experts in bed. Sometimes I'm surprised at how women are more experienced and liberal in sexual matters than men themselves. Some have been with more men than I've had with women, but who am I to judge? Everyone has their own body. But I won't deny that I'd like to find one who isn't so experienced, not because she wouldn't satisfy me, but because I'm a chauvinist—that's the word. What man wouldn't want to find a woman who's his and no one else's, to own her kisses, her caresses, to be the first and only man to know her moans, her scent, her sex, etc.?

Everyone dreams of being a woman's first, and anyone who says otherwise is lying; but let's be realistic, that doesn't exist these days. Women today are sluts; it seems like they're taught how to sell themselves from childhood. That's sad, as is the thought of meeting a woman to share my life with. They've all proven to be the same, even Bianca; there's no woman in this world who can catch my attention.

A year ago I saw a woman who still haunts my dreams to this day. I remember when I entered that room; I had never seen so many doctors together. Walking in and seeing so many white coats surprised me. I was going to support Leonardo in a talk about structural risks in hospitals and how it affected his health, a boring topic, but I owed him one, so there I was in a room supporting a good friend.

I couldn't stand the way most of the women in that room were staring at me. I felt like a piece of meat about to be pounced on. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could, and when my friend finally finished talking, I glanced to a corner and there she was, looking at her phone as if she were more engrossed in the conversation. Her long, brown hair framed part of her beautiful white face, she wore minimal makeup, glasses that matched her outfit, and full, pink lips that made you want to bite them until they wore down. She looked uncomfortable. She was sharing her chair with another woman and wasn't looking at me; I didn't exist in her field of vision, and that bothered me a little. I have to admit, when I entered a room, I had everyone's attention, and seeing how in that room everyone was looking at me, even her friend sitting next to her, and she wasn't, really irritated me.

When Leonardo finished and everyone applauded, they started to approach. I just stared at where she was. My good friend noticed and simply said:

“Which woman did you have your eye on?”

“To the most beautiful of all.”

I was mesmerized, I must say that when I saw her get up from the chair it was like seeing a perfect monument, she wasn't the typical 60-90-60 woman, or anything like that, quite the opposite, she had thick legs, wide hips, but a small waist and a flat stomach, breasts in the right place, God, I wanted to devour that woman and lose myself in that body, taste those lips, her friend made a comment that made her smile and that was what detonated the bomb in me.

That woman was meant to be mine, to be in my bed that night. I approached Leonardo and asked him if he knew the doctors who were there, and he said he knew most of them, so I pointed to that woman and told him to introduce me to her.

“Are you sure? I don't think she'd say she's not very... well, let's just say, in fact, from what I've heard, she's like your brainless Barbie.”

“Yes? Sure, and if she's so "easy" and like Bianca, it won't cost you anything.”

"Let me introduce you."- Wonderful, I must say I felt a little disappointed when Leonardo told me what she looked like, but for one night, what did I care?

As we were heading towards her, we were intercepted by another group of women, who started asking questions, and when I realized it, she was nowhere to be seen; she had disappeared.

I became so obsessed that I forced Leonardo to get her, but he showed up with a different woman, very different from my delectable woman. This one was dark-haired and slim, like the ones I'm used to, so I couldn't blame him for being confused. I only spoke to her so as not to be rude. It was torture. I mean, she was pretty, but she didn't stop praising herself from the moment she arrived—what she had, who she was, her positions. Me, me, me—I'd never heard such egocentrism in my life.

When we said goodbye, I went straight to Leonardo.

"Did you have fun?"he asked me.

“Who the hell was that woman? Where's the one I asked you for? I pointed her out to you and everything.”

Wasn't that it?

Do you think that if I were her I would be here wanting to leave my sister a widow?

“Wait, I thought it was her, when you showed it to me you pointed at her.”

“Well no, I don't know where you saw her, but it definitely wasn't her, damn it Leonardo!, that woman is unbearable.”

“I told you, I'm really sorry, I thought it was her. But we'll find her. If she was at that conference, she works for that hospital, so I'm going to find her, okay? I've never seen you like this over any woman.”

"Just find her."And I left his office.

I kept trying for a few more weeks until I resigned myself to the fact that it was an illusion, that I would never see her again, that she was surely like the others, but she had that angelic face that drove anyone crazy.

And here I was a year later thinking about my angel and what part of the world she was in.

Studying and working, that's my life, ever since I started at the hospital after my rural service; thank God I was lucky enough to get into the postgraduate program in pediatrics at the Kronenberg Medical Center, I haven't stopped for a single moment, I feel exhausted, even so I get up every day at six in the morning to arrive on time, I wish for an indefinite vacation, to relax and forget about the worries of life.

I'm in the special needs children area. I love children; they are so fragile, tender, sweet, and helpless. Helping them excites me, but since I was transferred to a different area, it's more difficult. Until two months ago, I rotated through the consultation for autistic children, Down syndrome, premature babies, among others.

I really like this service. Working with autistic and Down syndrome children isn't easy, among other conditions, but once you get the practice and the tricks, everything is simpler. People treat most of them as sick without realizing that they just live in a different world than ours, but they are the same, just with special qualities. That's no reason to treat them differently.

With premature babies, it's so rewarding to see them born so small and overcome obstacles until they grow up healthy and strong, and to see parents so dedicated and committed to their children's well-being.

A few months ago, a rather stiff and bitter lady showed up with her daughter, who was probably around my age, twenty-six at most twenty-nine. They were friendly. I think she must be the wife of the bank owner who's financing the hospital's restoration work, but the young woman seemed familiar to me, though I couldn't place her.

The hospital is planning to expand, change the consultation rooms, and apparently they are building play areas for children while they wait to be seen by their respective doctors.

It's a very nice project; with everything that's planned, the hospital is going to improve a lot. Hopefully, they won't delay it and it won't just remain words and talk, although they've already started remodeling some areas and brought in some equipment for the consultations.

"Valentina, where are you going?"I heard from afar. I ignored the voice and kept walking; I didn't feel like talking to anyone."Valentina, wait for me!"

When I looked towards that voice I realized it was one of my classmates, Elena; she was somewhat agitated, I waited for her to approach and asked her - what's wrong?, why are you running?

“Oh, I'm running late and the boss is sure to kill me, she's so unbearable.”

I believe you, Elena is in the observation area and the head of the service is grumpy, she never sees anything well, so if she scolds her it won't be for being late but because her hair is brown.

“Calm down, you know how the ogre is, whether you arrive early or late, whether you do something right or wrong, he's always going to yell at us, it's part of his day, he's crazy.”

“So, where were you going? I was calling you and you weren't answering, or were you ignoring me?”