03

He jumps and our eyes meet. The girl almost fell to the ground

- But what… Arthur, you almost knocked me over! She says

- So this is your mission in the north of the country Arthur?! Couldn't help but ask him

He jumps and gets up hastily like someone caught in the act

- Let's go home! We will discuss at home. he said

He approaches me and wants to grab me by the forearm

- Let go of me !

Jeanne comes out of her kitchen with her hands full of parcels

- But what is going on here?

- Nothing nothing ! We're going back ! Said Arthur eagerly

- How are you doing Arthur? We didn't come here together or did we?!

- Shut up Maeva! Maggie! Let's go back!

Already I no longer listen to it and I am in front. Tears blur my sight. Shame frustration anger. I run out of this apartment and bump into someone on the way

- But it's… Maguie! Wait !

It must be the beautiful stallion this morning but I run down the stairs two by two. I stop the first motorcycle I see

- Maggie!!! Waits ! Waits !!!!

I hear him shouting behind me but without listening to him I hail the first bike I see, crying and don't even discuss its price. How could he do such a thing to me?! I arrive home and barricade myself in the bathroom and let my grief flow. My God it hurts so much…. I still remember how happy we were when we started. He was a young recruit from a company in town when we met. He didn't earn much and still lived with his parents; Ah! We've come a long way from there! I was 19 years old and I was immediately seduced by his eloquence and his good looks.

I was leaving the market pulling my face, the market bag well put on my head by this hot sun when I stopped to buy a 50frs lollipop. The time to choose one that was not too frozen I was hailed by a friend from the neighborhood who greeted me, he was not alone…. The next evening the same comrade, Anthony, showed up at my mother's and I used stratagems to get out without being spotted to go and have a chat with him, he still wasn't alone... He then introduced me to his big cousin Arthur who was 23 years old and who was a young employee of one of the good clubs in Douala. Hono had just found her network for the USA and she had strongly advised me to be good and wait until she could fire me.

But Arthur's honey tongue got the better of me. In less than 2 months I offered her my virginity, it didn't take much for me to find myself pregnant a few months later. At 20 I was a mother and holder of two licenses. Arthur did things right and supported me during the pregnancy. Mom's disappointment at the announcement of my pregnancy was no less great, but she quickly got used to the idea and was an ultra present and super protective mom.

When I found a job we were in total joy because Arthur's salary alone was not enough to meet the needs of his daughter, mine and our wedding plans. When we finally said yes before men and before God, Maîté was already almost two years old. And here I am today the victim of such a profound injustice. I keep wondering what was my crime? I don't have girlfriends to confide in. I just shouldn't have fallen in love with my daughter's father? I just shouldn't have married her, right?! Why does he treat me like this I keep asking myself between tears and gasps of despair

(…)

- Hum like I say to you there Hono!

- You are not serious !!!

- My sister, I would have liked not to be…

- And what does he say then?

- What do you want him to say norrr

- Miiinnnnce! Massa we suffer in this outside! So you see your things?! You were too young to marry Maguie!!! I always told you that! I asked you to wait for me to ask myself I'll shoot you! The other Zouave here can't even attempt that! I even check his mileage. If it exceeds I ask him where he comes from!

- My sister at home, at least you ask, we even answer you here, you ask, you speak alone…

- Oh no ! You must not let this pass! What's the story?! So you too have no heart? You're not someone's child?! You say he apologized and then what? Who drank will drink ! If you miss this one, get ready to miss the others!

- But Hono, how do I manage this kind of thing? I don't have the means to pay this rent nor to manage the children alone. I can still sulk a bit, but if I have to invest on a large scale, I'm counting on him. Who else am I going to rely on?

- Hum! We need to see to what extent open a real business in Douala. You've been here since you wash the ndolè with your hands. I'm sure they don't even look like anything anymore. My darling two children is not the end of the world. I see kids here in the USA who are remarrying they are 10-20 years older than you and even have 3 or even 4 children you are over there two graduates in your pocket two children only young you lock yourself into this torment. Really think it through. Your guy there, I've never felt it!

I prefer to avoid this subject. I don't have the strength to let myself be carried away by these ramblings

- What matters to me at the moment is to expand my business. I can see to what extent open small workshops in the markets and put in saleswomen.

- Not bad. I'll see how to help you. I'll discuss it with Alma.

- And for Jojo, what does it say?

- Leave me ! I threatened the akata-ci (black American) that if he doesn't help me, I'll ask for a divorce. It even became what? Someone rides on you every day you cook his food you suffer his family he can't help you too?

- Hmm. And he said what?

- Like what ? He will help me. Normally Jojo will apply for the visa in August. His appointment is already set at the embassy. Once here he will start school. Normally he marries a friend's girlfriend by then. So that he can settle down well. I even hope that white marriage there can become real marriage. He's cute and the little one doesn't even bother.

- And that's how your little one feels then!

- But what ?! It is not then beautiful??!

- Mamaaannnnnnn

- Hono I leave you it's Lloyd who is already looking for me

- Ok, we take each other on wa

Yes, the children are back to school this week. Their father is more than exemplary. He's there at 6:30-6:45 p.m. every night. Last Saturday when I came back less than 10 minutes later he was there. A great first, he got out of his vehicle himself to open the gate. I had locked myself in the bathroom to let my sorrows run free

- Maguie Please open…. Open… I know what you saw may have confused you but please excuse me. This will not happen again. I'm sorry my doll I'm sincerely sorry.

- Go away Arthur! Leave me alone ! Go back to your Garoua!

- Baby, don't say that. I'm sorry. I just wanted to experience something…I shouldn't have, that's stupid. I swear it won't happen again.

He flattered like that nessa I gave in? The next day we even went to pick up the children together. Every morning he drops them off and Anita, whom I introduced to school, picks them up when they leave. Because Lloyd is still in kindergarten, he comes out a bit earlier than his sister. I don't even have to ask for money for x or y thing anymore. Before I open my mouth, there's already money sitting either by my bedside or on the living room table. Some will probably find that I forgave him too easily, but we mustn't kid ourselves. He remains my husband and the father of my children. Nobody is perfect.

He made a mistake he had the courage to apologize so let's move on. However, I asked her to start using condoms with me again. He wanted to impose on me an end of inadmissibility on this subject but I made myself even firmer. Until I'm sure he's changed, I'll protect me and my children, they're still kids. Anita's cousin Evelyn started working for me on Tuesday. And I inquired to also have a place at the market that the municipality was kind enough to grant me. I will soon have my own little shop in which I will display my vegetables. My business is growing slowly. Even Arthur's punctual largesse I manage with parsimony. We don't know what tomorrow holds.

It's been two weeks since the incident took place and everything is fine with me. In 1 week I open to the market. My husband isn't really interested in my business so he doesn't know anything about my various businesses. I found someone who will sell for me there and my orders are already very strong. I will also start delivering vegetables to institutions with boarding schools. I gain ground. Tonight I'm in the bedroom Arthur is in the shower the children in the living room. His phone on the table beside him rings. I take it to give it to him, he shows Max. Hey, I don't know him from Max but at the same time, I can't know all his relationships. As I pick up so Max doesn't hang up, all I get is someone's breath

- Hello ?

- …..

- Hello ???

I knock on the bathroom door.

-Arthur! It's Max for you

He opens in the blink of an eye and snatches it from my hands

- Hello ?!

- …..

- I'll call you back !

Click he hung up

- A concern ?

- Maguie, you don't have to pick up my calls, you know?

- Pardon ???

- You know who it is until you pick up?!

- Wait a bit… It displayed Max and I picked up for fear that he would hang up before the phone reached you. But… what am I even justifying here??? Arthur I mustn't pick up your calls is that what you're trying to tell me?!

- I'm just saying it's better to pass the phone to me. It's up to me to tell you who it is or not.

- And then you don't want me to be suspicious, how? In short, it's your life! You do what you want! Provided you don't bring us any illness.

- Here you go again

- Sorry, I didn't say anything!

I leave the room without another word and I go to find the children in the living room. I feel Mai's inquisitive gaze on me. This child is far too perceptive for her age.

- Mai will take your grammar book, we revise a little.

I'd rather occupy her mind than let her read me like an open book

Over time, I come to think that Arthur continues to deceive me. I don't have the courage to confide in this subject. It hurts me so much just to think about it. I still remember the incident with this client in Mbangué. I felt so diminished! So insulted! I can't believe the man I loved was this stranger I'm living with now. I absolutely do not like the feeling of insecurity in which he puts me.

This morning especially, while we are busy in the kitchen, the central door opens suddenly. I look in turn at Evelyn and Anita.

- Is that how you asked someone to come see you at my house? Anita, Evelyn???

- Nooooo Madam! They say in unison.

- Who is it then ?!

I get up and as soon as I open the kitchen door I come face to face with Arthur

- Maguie, I'm looking for my….

He stops and looks around the room

- Who is she ?

He points to Evelyn

- She's Anita's cousin. I have too many cake orders today. She came to help

He doesn't say anything at first. I step closer to him and close the door behind me.

- What brings you back? What did you forget?

- I took a file out of the car yesterday and put it at the bedside. I could have sworn I put it back in the car this morning but I don't see it anywhere.

- A file ? Does not ring a bell. Did you look in the bedroom then?

- I am going right now. But MESSI if you have the means to get help like this, why don't you pay for your first housekeeper yourself?

- Hein Hein Arthur does not start me sorry! You came to take your file, take it and go back to work. My business is not yet well advanced so that I can free up 30,000frs monthly to give to Anita

- And the other one, how much do you pay?

- I just throw it 5000

- Hum! Really I don't see what this activity brings you. You're there, you're stupefying your brain with the measuring spoon and the flour. I would also like to go home one evening and find not a pastry chef but a beautiful, well-dressed and sexy woman!

Without giving me time to place one, he is already heading towards the bedroom. I watch him do it without a word, torn between indignation and frustration, then I go back to my activity with the girls. I just hear him closing the central door behind him.

6:45 p.m. started to become 8 p.m. again and then 9 p.m. The days passed and I opened to the market and I continue my deliveries. I even supply mom who sells from home too.

This afternoon as I am about to deliver a lady to her cosmetics shop, I recognize my husband's parked car. I'm not wrong. I am in full akwa it is around 4 p.m. When I get out of there, I see my husband coming out of a snack bar arm in arm with the same girl from last time. I feel like I have a vice in my chest. I feel my heart literally heating up. It hurts…. With my shaking hands, I take out my phone and zoom in to take pictures. He does not hesitate to fall in love publicly. He a married man.

I watch them helplessly when I see his best friend coming out right behind him with a girl I don't recognize as his regular companion. They all get into Arthur's car and leave under my tearful eyes. I come home with my mind boiling, my heart in shreds. This trick Arthur you will hear me! I saw you ! I have proof of what I say! Every minute that passes feels like torture. But I make efforts in front of the children, we do homework and we watch TV. Mai even asks me why I don't seem happy, I reassure her as best I can. I finally go to bed but sleep does not come. At 11 p.m., I hear him opening his gate. A few minutes later he is in the bedroom. I attack it immediately

- Arthur, where are you from?

- I hung out with colleagues

- Even warn me?

- Am I a child? Here I am norrr

- And you think it's a decent time to go home?

- Woman, I am not the first Bantu man to come home late

- I see. And you're not the first to go fuck somewhere else either!

He has a contemptuous laugh

- This one even talks about what?! You never miss an opportunity to shut up, huh! That's why I don't like coming here often! MESSI you talk too much!

- I talk too much? And that's also gossip?!

I take my phone to my bedside and hold it up to him in one of the photos I took. He stares at her and his face immediately changes.

- MESSI stop watching me! You understand norrr! Stop that !

- Arthur, is that all you can think of to say to me?!

- What do you want ?! Didn't I marry you?! You are my wife norrr! Can't you stay home and quietly wait for your husband at home?! Your cake business is seriously starting to do well!

- So Arthur, I catch you falling in love with someone else and that's all you find to tell me… You ZOGO! What is even happening to you?! Arthur, I don't recognize you anymore!

He paws and goes in the shower. He comes out of there and goes to sit in the living room in front of the TV. I follow him there and put myself between him and the tv

- Arthur, I'm talking to you!

- Leave in front of the TV

- That's all you have to say Arthur ????

- MESSI clears in front of the TV!!!!

I stare at him, hands on my hips.

- If I get up there, you're not going to like what I'm going to do to you! I count to 3! A…

- Three once! It even became what?! Do your best I see! A fool like that! You are cheating on me ! You're starving your kids and I'm catching you, you don't even have the decency to apologize! ZOGO three! Do what you want ! I sent you to flirt with me?! I begged you to marry me?! What does it even want to become?!

- MESSI!!!!

This time he got up and faster than I thought he grabbed my hair and pulled it back

- Aiiieeee! ZOGO let go of me, you're hurting me!

- You change your tone when you speak to me Madam ok?!

- Plug me …. Aiiiiiieeeeeeeeee

He just pulled harder on my hair

- I've never hit a woman in my life! Don't make me get out of my gongs!

- Arthur leave me! It hurts !

- Your strength is only in your mouth!

He lets go of me abruptly and I sway for a moment before regaining my balance. I raise my head and challenge him with my gaze, the insults are burning my throat! I want to kill him with my hands!

- You are an…

- One word MESSI and you will misunderstand me! If you know what's good for you, go to bed!

I look at him for a moment longer, then I look at him and pass in front of him. Once at the door I can't help but say softly

- A bastard like that

- Your luck that you speak in your throat! MESSI your luck onong!

I go to my room with a bubbling spirit! The 100 steps do not calm me down! Neither do the insults I utter out loud! But I finally calm down. All that there the children sleep next to it. For their balance making a racket is not good. The next morning he comes to wash without a word while I'm lying focused on fcbk (apparently). He gets ready then puts an envelope at my bedside and leaves the room. When he leaves I chipp and lean back on the bed. I open the envelope there's 200,000 fcfa inside. I burst into joyless laughter

- So this guy thinks it's the money that's going to calm his affront, huh! Hum!

The following Friday, he had to travel to Yaoundé after work. He and his Polytech promoters have a monthly meeting which he is required to attend once a month. He packed his bag before my eyes and when he left the house he turned around and looked at me.

- If you want, come with me to the agency

- What will change?

- I don't like it when you talk like that Maguie

- Arthur please leave me alone. Have a nice journey !

Without another word I went back to our room. He left at the beginning of the afternoon, leaving another envelope on the living room table. The same night at 2am, from his number I received on wa a photo of him and the same girl embracing and looking at the camera with a smile on their lips in a night club obviously…. With commentary

“Look how happy we are”