02

- Mai, go take a shower, will you? Your little brother is still sleeping?

She doesn't answer me right away

- Why is Dad mean to you?

I pause a little surprised

- Where are you going to get it my darling?

- He never smiles when he's here. He is still angry.

- It's not true and you know it. Yesterday he even came back to eat with us at noon

- But he didn't eat! He only scolded as usual!

I look at her and read her indignation in her eyes. I bend down to her level and stroke her chin

- Listen Mai, not every day is rosy. Dad is going through a rough patch right now

She looks down with a really scowl. We are silent for a moment and then she says:

- I don't like daddy

- Oh Doll! Do not say that ! Listen, let's come in I have a lot to do this morning

I set to work with a very preoccupied mind. I don't really know how to manage this crisis at Maï. I need to find a way to bring these two together. But Arthur's attitude doesn't help either. 9 am I finished up packing my balls. The children are clean. I'll reheat yesterday's meal later. I take Mai's old slate and I write SEARCH FOR A HOUSEHOLDER with chalk, I'm going to hang on my gate outside. I also post the same message in social networks. Tomorrow is laundry and cake. In the afternoon, I will deliver my vegetables. Tata Angé has confirmed that she wants folong. She often makes me the recipe. I'll start with her before going elsewhere. Between watching the children and auditioning potential nannies during the day, the time for deliveries arrives quickly. With my very full program here I'm trying to set up 3 more auditions tomorrow between my cake deliveries. I still manage to leave when the little ones are asleep, I can't wait for Tata Solange to come back from the village, for a start I won't be reassured to leave them in the hands of a complete stranger even if I pay her. I borrow a motorcycle for Bonadibong 500frs live. At the place indicated, I seem to recognize Arthur's car parked not far away. My heart leaps in my chest. What is he doing there? Isn't he supposed to be at work? The lady I have to deliver shows up. After exchanging packages, I prowl around the car just to find out where he is and I finally see him lurking in a bar surrounded by men. My heart leaps in my chest. I walk very angry towards him

- He's going to know me today! Not what he thinks got there! The good gentleman only gives me 5000frs in the morning yelling at me but he has the means to go to the bars.

But a few meters from the bar I stop short and change my mind. What interest would I have in making a public scene? I'll deal with that when he gets back. I decide to continue my deliveries with my heart still beating. In the evening, he comes home at the same time as the day before and without any comment helps himself to food and then comes this time to lie down in our bed. I sit as he goes to bed

- Arthur, where are you from?!

- Tsiup Sorry woman I'm tired! I need to sleep !

- How would you not?! When you spend most of your time in bars instead of at work?!

- What does that mean, what are you watching me now?!

- In any case 99 days for the thief only one day for the big boss! You think too much that you hide yourself!

- Tsiiuuuppp! MESSI sorry if you have nothing interesting to say go to bed and shut up! It will make me a vacation!

He pulls the blanket over his head.

- Hum! I said as I lay down on my side.

The next morning, I meet a lady at 9am, another at 10am and finally the last one at 11am. Between her hours I have cakes to make and two orders for pancakes that have been added. Luckily one of the customers just wants the dough. The candidates each arrive on time and of the 3, it's the one at 10 a.m. that interests me: Anita. She has already been a housewife; she is in her mid-30s with two children who live with her mother in her village. Really someone who is simplistic and who seems maternal to me. I'm taking it for testing today. However, I continue to make sure before going out for my deliveries that the little ones are sleeping. When I come back from my walks, everything is fine at home. Anita and the little ones seem to be getting along pretty well. In any case, the children here are not difficult.

The next day I drop off the little ones at Mum's. Jojo only has lessons in the afternoon. Must see the joy of Lloyd to stay with uncle Jojo his best friend! I leave some last recommendations to Maîté who knows better than anyone her habits and those of her brother and mother accompanies me to the gate

- Maguie, how is it at home?

- It's okay Ma'a

- Are you sure ?

- It's not pink rose but it can go.

- Here… Alma asked that I give you this.

She hands me a brown envelope that I open

- Wow…. 100,000?!!! Eeeee I'm going to call him!

- Yes, call her. Joel please God will apply for the visa by the end of August, for the USA uncle Grégoire (a childhood friend of my late father) has agreed to stand surety for him, your sister will pay him the university fees and has already arranged with the sister of a friend of hers there to enter into an arranged marriage

- Hum!

- I tell you my child myself that does not seduce me. But he wants to leave, how do we do it?

- If that girl over there makes him sing Ma'a how does he do it?

- At least he has the advantage of being in the same city as his sister! God will watch. First take this for your small needs. I know you're brave, you'll handle it well

- Do I have a choice?

- Maguie, I asked you before you got married if you're ready, you told me yes…. You have to be strong huh, it's in moments like these that you really discover the true face of your companion

- Ma'a, I have the impression that you're trying to tell me something but you can't.

- No, there is nothing. Just be wise and save as much as you can.

- Ok Ma'a good I come to take them Sunday afternoon. Sorry, don't worry that they are both wearing their hair. You know school will start the next day

- You're not talking to a child Mrs.! Queue

On the way back I think back to Alma's gesture. Her husband even still pretends that when she calls she hands him the phone, we talk a little. People often think it's white that's easy I confirmed the code there on Hono's husband! He doesn't want to feel like his in-laws: for him we're niggers. The little packages and money orders she gives us are without her knowledge. Once at home, I start my working day with Anita. She also helps me in my business. The whole week passes like Arthur has never been able to meet her. However, I told her that she had started, for 30,000. He doesn't know that I'm going to take the extra 10,000frs out of my pocket so that she can get her salary. Anita's presence is really beneficial to me since she allows me to double my orders for both pastries and vegetables.

(…)

We are Thursday evening, Arthur came home early. We are installed in front of the tv which my faith is more and more rare with us! The little ones are already asleep

- I will travel tomorrow evening

- Ah good ? For how long

- Two weeks

- Two weeks ???? Eki where are you going?

- The box sends me to reinforce the workforce in Garoua. The head of the agency there had health concerns. They asked me to act as interim while he recovers

- So it can even be more than two weeks then! Hmm

- Nooo! I told them that after two weeks, I will go back to Douala.

- So what am I going to do here with the children?

- Do how how?

- In relation to the needs of the house

He wakes up very upset

- Everything for you revolves around money!

- You can't say that Arthur! It's starting to do well this story! I manage as best I can to ask you only the essential things. The last time you gave me something was a few days ago and how much? 5000frs! All that there to go finish your money in the bars of the city!

- So what ?! 5000frs is not the money? Are you selling your cakes or are you watching me?!

- Arthur when you yourself come back here you help yourself you say to yourself that 5000frs there allowed you to serve yourself until you eat that amount? Every evening ???

- So now you give me a favor when I go home to eat in the evening….

- I never said that. Why as soon as we talk about money it becomes the problems with you? When I was working, we didn't have this kind of pbs!

- Well then work again!

- As if I saw and refused to do!

- I can't imagine ending my life with a pastry chef! So when I go talk to my friends I'm going to tell them my wife does baking?

- Where does it come from now Arthur? My current condition didn't seem to bother you that much before!

- I'm just tired of pretending. You're all the time in here managing your kids not dressing well, I see you in house clothes every day!

- Invite me outside and you'll see that I don't only have house clothes

- Don't you know that there are women who invite ???

- Lord God… Arthur I just have one question: do you intend to leave me some money so that I can take care of the house in your absence yes or no?

- Pffff

He gets up and leaves the room. I hear him starting his car and getting out. Who can I confide in? What is my fault? I have to cook now in a suit? I'm there I put on outfits close to the body when he's there. He wants to see me in the morning in a suit skirt and a blouse on? That he finds me a job to see me go out beautiful every morning like him. I had Marie Thérèse (Maîté) when I was finishing my second license and luckily, as it is commonly said that girls bring luck there, I found a job in a club even though she had not yet 5 months. I had to juggle to be able to finish my license and support without it affecting my job too much. Thanks to our joint income, Arthur and I were able to settle permanently together with marriage in support, namely knocking on the door dowry town hall and church. When I had Lloyd a little over 3 years ago, my box was already having cash flow difficulties and I found myself in the crowd of people who were compressed. The small amount of money that was given to me as a thank you allowed me to set up on my own in my little business as a pastry chef.

I too dream of sitting behind a desk, I dream of owning a nice vehicle, my children warm in the back of the said during our walks. But I count the number of times we had the honor of putting our butts in Arthur's. Many times I braved the rain to take Lloyd or Maï to the hospital either by taking motorbikes when I was lucky it was taxis. Many times Mom picked up one of the children so that I could sleep quietly in the hospital with the other. Monsieur was content to come and manage the bills at his level. Because sometimes I even dipped into my savings to complete the bills. No warmth, no enthusiasm, just coming to fulfill his role as a father. In any case, that's already it. When I go to bed, he's still not there.

As agreed Arthur leaves the next evening after and he leaves me 20,000frs on the living room table. His vehicle is parked there in the parking lot. Saturday morning Anita comes to work carefree. At some point in the day she asks me

- Madame Monsieur is already out?

- He traveled why you ask?

- Oh! No it's like I haven't seen him since morning

- OK

I spend the day at Beedi's with mum who even chases me away because yesterday she had the little ones I've already come to do the inspection. Looool against my will I leave earlier. It was in the afternoon that I received a text from Arthur:

“Hi, arrived safely. Kiss »

Me “Okay; have a good stay "

What else did I have to say? Sunday I spend it making my vegetables and my deliveries. I'm very happy with my little business, really it brings me enough so that I can even think of a 3rd. Soon I could even hire the services of 2/3 people at this pace. I am sufficiently provided for a moment. I even put some in mom's freezer, she also has the sign in front of her gate so she sells without worry for me there too.

This Monday morning I start with the ESG district. The client tells me the location of her building. I leave Anita busy at home when I hail a motorbike there for 500frs. When I get there I want to pay it but I realize I don't have spare change

- Waaaa my brother I have a note of 5000 there and in small change I have… 450frs

- I'm sorry, mama, don't start me off! In the morning like that you want me to take the change where? You left we crossed all the stations now here we are going to make change how?

- I know my brother I am sincerely sorry. I forgot to tell you. I thought I had enough coins…

- It's none of my business ! I want my 500frs! And sorry, hurry up, I have to work

The guy makes a gesture of humor and crosses his hands on his chest. What a pain ! I'm stuck there for a problem of 50frs no but what am I going to do now? Start asking 50frs to a stranger?

- Well listen here is what we are going to do you leave me I go up and deliver someone to the building here I go down we continue?

- Nooo! Do you take me for your child?! You're going home I know you're in which apartment over there? And what tells me you're coming down? Sorry, don't waste my time! Who is that?!

- A concern Mrs.?

A complete stranger appears behind me

- Excuse me sir, I'm just very embarrassed. I realize that I don't have enough coins and he doesn't have change for 5,000frs.

- How much do you owe him?

- 500frs

- Here Sir, here is 500frs. No need to embarrass the lady so much!

- Oh! Pardon ! Leave me your French there! Who are you?!

He was already starting his motorbike to leave

- I'm really confused sir… Allow me to thank you. Here is the amount I had on me

- Please don't bother. Bye

He gives me a polite smile which I return.

- Good bye, sir. thanks again

He left and I went to deliver the lady.

A few days later, as I return from a delivery, I dab a taxi yellow colored lady who comes out of my house when I enter. I find a troubled Anita in my kitchen

- Oh Mrs! Are you already there?

- Yes Anita. Who's the lady who just walked out there?

- It's my cousin Mrs. She came to bring me something…

Hmm

- Anita, I don't like it very much. In the future, before receiving someone at my house let me know. And then why does she only come when I'm not there?

- I'm sorry Mrs. This won't happen again.

The week goes by so quietly I've heard from Arthur just twice. The children are home tomorrow and this morning again I have a delivery near Mbangue. The lady wants the vegetables and cakes for 11 o'clock sharp. She explains to me that her boyfriend and she are receiving friends for 3 p.m. Another couple of friends And she would like to know how many balls of folong can do. I suggest a number that she finds correct. She insists on my punctuality because she counts on it to receive her people. I leave Anita packing the ndolè and I hit the road. By motorbike it would cost me more so I take two taxis. Once there I call the lady who tells me the building where she lives. Apartment number etc. I arrive without worry, I ring the bell and I wait. 2 minutes later the door opens on a shirtless man who receives me in profile, his head turned inside the apartment. He is quite well built. When our eyes finally meet I have ants in my stomach. He is really well built and very cute. I swallowed and said to myself married woman abstain!

- Hello Sir, it's for delivery

- Here then ! We meet once again…

- I beg your pardon ?

- You do not recognize me ? You had a currency problem the other day… on the ESG side

- Ohhh it's you?!!!

- Yes it's me.

- Briiiccce! She's the delivery lady???

- Yes dear ! It's good I manage!

He looks at me again, embarrassed smile

- How much do we owe you?

- It will be 5000 for the cakes and 1000frs for the vegetables Monsieur plus taxi at the rate of 1000frs. That's a total of 7000frs

- Hold… Keep the change

He handed me 10,000

- Oh no ! Sir, really, I cannot accept you have already done so much for me the last time! Really wait I have the difference in my bag.

- I insist ! Keep the change. What is your name ?

- Maguie… I mean… Daisy

- Maguie… Ok. You're very beautiful, you know that?

- Thank you… My husband often tells me

- You can see it in your wedding ring… That doesn't prevent me from appreciating what is beautiful.

I don't know where to put myself. It's been a really long time since a man was this nice to me

- Sir, I'll go. Thank you again for what you do.

- You are welcome

I shoot out. I am really very disturbed. A feeling that I already didn't know anymore. It's at a moment like this that I realize the complete desert of my sentimental life. Young married but delivered to myself. But what am I complaining about? Some live worse than that! That's all I can say to console myself.

I come home even more confused when Anita asks to speak to me.

- Ms. I would like to tell you something please?

- I'm listening Anita.

- The other day my cousin who was there saw me washing the vegetables. She's looking for a little something to do Mrs. Her life is very complicated here in town. Her man took her out of her parents and now he is abusing her and her parents don't want her anymore. If only she could help here in this trade. It will make us go even faster with orders.

- It's not stupid. How old is your cousin?

- 25 years Mrs.

- Ok, let her come see me on Monday at 10 a.m.

- Ok Ms.

Nessa, am I going to lie down for a bit? No need to cook since the children and their father are not there. I'm asleep when my phone rings, it's the lady from earlier who calls back. Hmm. I hope there is no problem

- Hello ?

- Yes. Is it Marguerite?

- Yes it's me

- Good afternoon, it's Jeanne. You delivered me this morning near Mbangue

- Yes Jeanne, I remember. Is there a concern?

- Nooo my co I had more guests than expected. I was expecting a friendly couple finally it's 4 friendly couples. I would like two more cakes and pancakes right away if possible?

- For the pancakes I have the dough made but not the pancakes…

- Bring like that my co we will do here wassa wassa; Please, I'll pay you the taxi there and back, but come and deliver me now!

- Ok, I'm coming.

When I leave the house Anita has already left, this time I take a racing motorbike and we go there. I ring at the same door hoping that the beautiful stallion Brice is no longer the one who will open the door for me. In a mechanical gesture I arrange my hairstyle a little. The door opens on a very flirtatious young girl with a smile on her face. She was obviously talking to someone inside when she came to open the door.

- Oh good evening. It's for ?

- Good evening, I come to deliver cakes and…

- Oh! Jeanne has been waiting for you since mama come in sorry!

- But….

Already she pulls me inside and directs me to the kitchen. In the stay that we cross, reigns such a brouhaha. It talks it laughs, mixtures of perfumes of the laughter of men… I find myself in a kitchen where a lady whom I recognize a little with difficulty like the one in the photo is in the process of arranging meals in cutlery. She smiled distractedly at me.

- Thank you Marguerite. How much do I owe you ?

- 5000frs Mrs.

- How so ? And pancakes and taxi then?

- Your husband already tipped me this morning. Really I don't want to abuse

- It doesn't surprise me coming from him! Here Maguie; Business is business.

She hands me the amount due. I thank her and leave her kitchen towards the central door. But I think I'm dreaming when I recognize a voice and then the person carrying it: I stop in the middle of the room and look at him, my eyes wide; I can not believe it. My person is merrily installed on the sofa a nenette on the thighs. She has a glass in her hand, she kisses his temple.

-Arthur!!!!