When Perfect Meets Crazy

For my sister, my editor and every girl who has ever thought, "He's so stupid. I'd never fall for him."

• • •

I gritted my teeth, total displeasure coating my face as I leaned in further than I liked so my words could be heard over the roaring of the crowd. Even then, I still had to shout.

"I think we should go!"

My sister barely spared me an irritated glance before returning her attention to the small ring containing one immature man and an idiotic boy who clearly did not know that overdoing steroids could be life threatening as well as unattractive.

Or was I the only one who wasn't into overly buff guys?

I knew my sister well enough to understand that she was already regretting her decision to let me tag along on her little jailbreak expedition. Our current surroundings had very little on a jail cell. We were packed tighter than sardines which I would've hated even without the worrisome thought that some of the people I was mushed in with had questionable hygiene.

It was a miracle Olly was able to enjoy herself at all. I could hardly breathe without fighting the urge to throw up thanks to the unique and entirely nauseating combination of musk, sweat, grease and cigar permeating the air.

Not to be overly dramatic but I was breathing as little as I could.

Never again was I stepping foot in this dump.

My gaze involuntarily went to the filthy, once white but now brown ceiling as I sent up a short fervent prayer that my sister and I make it back home before either of my parents did and all hell broke loose. They would gladly kill me for letting this expedition come to life, conveniently forgetting that it wasn't my idea nor did I even want to be here. It was part of the curse of being the older kid.

In my next life, if such things existed, I was definitely not going to be an older sister. I would be the last kid. The baby of the house. There was less stress involved.

Three weeks ago, when Olly suddenly -much to my consternation- became interested in boxing, I knew, in my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn't going to end well.

The last time she had picked up one such obsessions, it had been drag racing. It started out the same way; with her watching shows on TV, then unto constantly streaming them on YouTube until finally, she had to see it up close and personal in real life.

Needless to say, that ended less than spectacularly and she came out the other side with a mild concussion which I took the blame for when I covered for her.

I told our parents I almost got involved in a car accident, a near-miss. That I had slammed my foot on the brake at the last minute and the momentum caused her to hit her head on the dashboard. As punishment, I had my car privileges revoked for a month. There had even been talk about not letting me take the driver's test. I had only a learner's permit at the time. I was on cooking duty for two more months and even now, a full year later, my mom still carries out regular inspections of my car to be sure I’m not ‘driving recklessly.’

So when Olly got to the streaming stage of her current obsession, I knew it was only a matter of time before she went and did something similarly stupid. This time, however, I was determined to not let it get to the stage where I needed to take the blame.

A glance at my wristwatch informed me that I had only about thirty minutes to make that happen. My house was roughly twenty minutes away so my odds weren't great. Especially not since Olly was insistent on staying till the last punch was thrown. Clearly, she had rightfully assumed that I was never letting her set foot in this hellhole ever again and wrongfully assumed that we had already been found out by our parents so she might as well enjoy her last few minutes of freedom.

Our mom had basically ordered us to be home early today -disobedience was not an option- because for the first time in two weeks, she was getting off early from work and she wanted to have a family dinner. With most of the family anyway since my dad was not at all going to leave work any earlier than ten p.m. unless the house was on fire.

To be honest, even then I wasn't so sure. In all my years, I'd never once known him to be home early. He is a workaholic like that.

He even goes in on holidays.

Anyway, if our mom got home before us, we would be in big big trouble. The kind that would involve a lot of grilling about what held us up -we would obviously lie- followed by a lot of yelling about how irresponsible I was and would eventually end in some creative punishment specifically designed to make my life miserable. Olly would get off easy.

It paid to be the younger sister and the mother's favourite.

So I did the only thing I knew would hurry my entitled little sister up.

"I'm going to wait in the car. If you're not there in five minutes, I'm leaving without you," I sternly informed her.

All cards on the table, I would wait all night if that's how long it took her to show up.

Fortunately, she didn't know that.

I turned on my heel and stomped off.

She had to buy my angry act or I might as well say good bye to car privileges for the rest of my life. I could already hear our mom saying I was the one with the car and the older sibling and clearly, that made everything my fault.

I rolled my eyes.

I had to elbow my way through cheering fans and almost slapped one guy who just couldn't wait the three seconds it would've taken me to walk past before yelling out the name of his preferred fighter and in the process, awarding me with a hair full of peanut crumbs and saliva. Ew!

I shuddered violently, took in a deep breath -that I instantly regretted- and called on all the willpower I could muster to walk away without strangling the life out of him. And also, to not vomit.

The only reason I had even come to this moss pit was because my sister, who couldn't be like every other fourteen year old out there, had made the questionable decision to fall in love with this weird cross between boxing and street fighting. And as if the prospect of brainless oversized men beating the crap out of each other and shedding off unnecessary amounts of pheromones wasn't bad enough, it just so happened to be illegal which, of course, added a nice bow on top of it.

Not only was I risking my life by being here because our parents would definitely kill me if they ever found out and that’s aside what the cops would do but I also had peanuts, disgusting half-chewed peanuts in my hair for all my troubles.

Olly was damn lucky to have me for a sister.

I came to the realization that I was a great big sister around the same time I also realized my little self was very much lost in the maze of hallways. The people I had been following had somehow disappeared when I wasn't paying attention.

Per-freaking-fect.

"Hey! Anyone here?" I called out, walking on with the hope of catching up with them ahead.

Instead, I had the pleasure of hearing my voice echo down an empty hallway. I poked around, calling out for help every minute or so. It was hard to believe that there was no one around to help me. The people I'd been following had to be around somewhere and all the athletes, if you could even call them that, had to be close by seeing as their dressing rooms lined the corridor.

My irritation and impatience rose to dangerous levels as I poked my head into all the open rooms I could find. Most were locked and I could just tell there were people inside them.

Eventually I found one with a half dressed boy who had to have been fed growth hormones since he hit puberty.

He was in the process of slipping off a mask which said volumes about his IQ. No matter what anybody had to say on the matter, wearing a mask was definitely not cool unless you happened to be a talented musician whose mask was a visual representation of his name.

Yes, I was talking about Marshmello and even then, his was less mask and more headdress.

Still, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Finally."

It had definitely been over five minutes. I was in no position to be picky about who would help me. Olly was probably searching for me by now.

"Hi. I need to find the way out of here," I said just as the mask came loose and slid off the boy's face.

He turned to face me, eyes wide with horror.

He had full thick eyebrows that had to have been threaded by a professional, a tiny scar at the corner of his mouth that didn't exactly surprise me and pale pink lips that did. His features were ruggedly handsome if one was into that kind of stuff.

I definitely wasn't.

Who wanted to be in any type of relationship with a boy whose muscle mass was not only twice their weight but one who also happened to have the face of a petty criminal? Not me, that was for sure.

The boy in question gaped at me, eyes widening even more as he opened, closed and once again opened his mouth, confirming my belief that what he had in muscles, he lacked in brain.

"Ex-it?" I asked, drawing the word out slowly as though I was speaking to a retarded child which wasn't so far from the case.

The look of shock and horror remained on his face as he answered my question as though on autopilot by pointing in what I hoped was the direction of the exit.

"Thanks." I spun on my heel and dashed out of his dressing room.

I couldn't bring myself to look at my watch and find out just how much time I had wasted because I hadn't been paying attention to where I was going. If I got my car rights revoked, I had only myself to blame.

Well... technically, it wasn't entirely my fault. I mean, the people I was following were partly to be blamed. If they hadn't suddenly disappeared none of this would've happened. If you really thought about it, this was actually all their fault.

A few seconds later, the boy appeared behind me sans the mask but with an unnecessarily large face cap and shades, yelling for me to stop.

I did no such thing.

I continued running.

I ran all the way to the car after I managed to loose him in the throng of people exiting the building. All the matches were over which meant I had even less time to get home than I previously thought. I was more concerned with getting home in time and thereby saving mine and my sister's asses than finding out what the troubled guy with poor accessorising skills wanted.

"Where the hell were you? We were supposed to leave over five minutes ago," Olly burst out as soon as I was within ear reach.

I ignored her outburst and refrained from pointing out that I was the one who had been worried about the time we had to leave and not her.

"Just get in the car," I growled, slamming the door shut behind me as I did the same.

It made me feel better for all of two seconds until I remembered that my mother would have my head if the car got even an itty bitty scratch because I decided to take my anger out on my car.

She would probably think it was another lucky near-miss. If we didn't make it home in time, the last thing I needed was to give her more reason to yell at me.

The drive back home was a race against time that caused me to have some respect for Cinderella's struggle to get home before midnight. Prior to this, I always thought it was stupid. How exactly did she loose track of time when she knew that everything depended on it? When she knew the consequences?

I finally understand your struggle. I will never make sarcastic jabs about you again if you help me get home on time. I could use your fairy godmother's help right now.

I floored it, breaking speed limits and cutting other cars off as if my dad owned the road while praying that I wouldn't get pulled over. If that happened, then I was a dead man walking. There was no way my dad wouldn't find out about it.

Fortunately, we arrived at home before either of my parents.

Cue my very audible sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, our blabbermouth neighbor saw me drive in -I made Olly crouch in the backseat so she wouldn't be seen- which meant my mom would one hundred percent know that I went out and exactly what time, right down to the minute, I got home.

Honestly, was it too much to ask that my lousy neighbor and her family be forced to relocate to Nebraska? Kazakhstan? Alaska? I really wasn't picky about the location. Anywhere far from me would do.

"Sorry," Olly whispered as we retired to our separate rooms to wait for the mini grenade that would go off once our mother heard of my escapades.

If nothing else, at least I had managed to keep Olly out of it.