Chapter 3: Me Time

As I finished packing, I double-checked my suitcase before closing it to ensure that I had everything as I always forgot something. Once I was sure that I had everything, I closed up my luggage and put it beside my door. Just as I did, the doorbell rang, telling me that the food was finally here.

I walked out of my room, and the smell of hot, delicious pizza invaded my senses, causing my stomach to grumble. After a moment, Dani closed the door with two boxes resting in her hands now.

I rushed over to her and grabbed a box from her. “Here, let me help you.”

She sighed in relief. “Thank you, and I’ve got everything set up by the couch for us to eat.”

I turned around, and as I walked to the couch, I took notice of the cute little setup that Dani had put together. I put the box down on the table and smiled at her because I genuinely didn’t know what I would do without her.

We sat on the couch together and ate our pizza while watching television. After both boxes were nearly empty, I looked at the clock and saw that it was 9:07 pm and as badly as I wanted to remain here on the couch, I needed to get some sleep.

I turned to Danielle and gave her a somber look. “Regretfully, I have to go to bed and try to get some sleep. I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow.”

She stuck out her bottom lip and gave me a pouty look. “You suck, but I don’t want you being tired for the drive up to Georgia.”

I hugged her. “Goodnight, babe, love you,” I told her before standing from the couch.

Dani waved me off before turning back to her show. “Love you too, goodnight.”

I grabbed my garbage off the table and took everything into the kitchen. Then I made my way into the bathroom and got ready for bed.

I woke up in a panic, covered in a sheen of sweat and panting heavily. I looked around my room, and I was alone, but something felt off. I got out of bed and started to look around the apartment. The doors and windows were locked, Dani was sound asleep in her bed, but I still had that gut feeling that something wasn’t right. Then, suddenly, I could hear an eerie voice calling my name from the bathroom.

I slowly made my way to the bathroom, seeing a tiny flicker of light coming from underneath the door. I looked closer and noticed a small pool of water collecting at the base of the door. I reached for the door handle, hesitating for a split second before opening the door. My blood ran cold, and fear caused my feet to falter as I stared into the eyes of my deceased mother, who stood in my bathtub covered in blood.

My lip quivered as I drank in the scene before me. “Mom?” I said in a whisper-like tone.

Mom raised her arms, tilting her wrists upwards and pointed them towards me. “This is all your fault!” She said in a low and deadly tone.

Tears were now streaming down my face as I rapidly shook my head in protest. “No, that’s not true. I tried to help you.”

She wailed out in pain, and her face was now shadowed in darkness. “This is all your fault.” Mom screeched before lunging towards me with a knife in her hand.

Abruptly, my alarm went off, waking me from my sleep but also bringing me out of that dreadful nightmare. I reached over and shut off my blaring alarm, which I had set for 9:00 am. I finally crawled out of bed and started getting myself into motion, brushing my hair and teeth before doing my makeup.

After I was finished with everything in the bathroom, I walked into my closet to get dressed, choosing to wear a golden silk blouse, a knee-high black skirt and my favourite black heels with flakes of red in them. Once I was pleased with my appearance and outfit, I went into the kitchen to get some breakfast, deciding on apple cinnamon oatmeal.

I took my breakfast and morning coffee, opting to sit in the backyard this morning. I sat in one of the patio chairs and started to eat my oatmeal as I read a book. After finishing my breakfast and coffee, I looked at my watch and realized it was now 10:45 am, meaning it was time to go. I gathered everything up and headed back inside, only to be greeted by a sleepy Danielle.

I raised a brow and smiled at her appearance. “Goodmorning beautiful,” I said playfully.

She gave me a deadpan stare. “Bite me,” Dani said grumpily.

I chuckled at her retort before placing my dishes into the sink. Then, walking into my room, I put the remainder of my belongings into my suitcase and double-checked that I had everything before closing up my luggage. Finally, I left my bedroom and closed the door behind me.

I walked back into the living room and placed my things by the front door. I turned around to see Dani standing behind me with a worried expression masking her features.

My brows pulled together in confusion. “What's the matter?” I asked her.

She pursed her lips. “Are you sure you are up for this? It’s a long drive, and I don’t like the idea of you going alone.” Dani expressed not hiding how she felt.

I smiled at her reassuringly. “Yes, I want to do this, and this is going to be good for me. I need some alone time with myself, especially with Mom's anniversary coming up.”

Dani sucked in a deep breath. “I understand, be careful and don’t drive tired. I want you to text me with updates as often as possible so I know you are safe.” She told me like a concerned parent.

I chuckled at her requests. “I’ll be careful, and I will update you every chance I have.” Then, I hugged her tightly.

She hugged me back, nearly squeezing the air from my lungs. “I love you, and have fun,” Dani said as a final farewell.

I grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. “I love you too, and I will see you in a few days.”

It was a beautiful October day in Jackson, perfect for a road trip. I packed everything into the car and then hit the road, ready to complete this mission. The highway was about 30 minutes from my house, but I would need to stop along the way for gas and snacks. So, I should make it to the highway by noon at the latest.

After stopping for fuel and food, I had finally made it to the highway. I was now on my way to Georgia and was making good time as it was only just after noon now. As I drove down the long stretch of road, it gave me time to contemplate everything.

One week from today would be my twenty-seventh birthday, and only five days after that would be the tenth anniversary of my mother's death. Even though many years had passed, her death plagued my mind heavily, and the nightmares I suffered from only added to the pain. After I got my life together, I tried going to a therapist to cope with her death, and it helped to a certain extent, but it didn’t make the nightmares go away.

For the past five years, on the anniversary of her death, I’ve had a magnolia tree planted at the Magnolia Gardens in Mississippi in mom’s honour. This was my way of keeping her memory alive and making the best of a bad situation.

I only wished I could have done more for her, that I could have done more to help mom with her demons. However, I constantly tried to remind myself that it wasn’t my fault mom took her life and that I had done everything possible.