Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Wesley

My name is Wesley Hawthorn, and I received that letter from Erik O’Brien, my best friend for most of my life, three weeks ago.

Suffice it to say, my life has been completely turned upside down. I am the founder and CEO of a highly successful, international gaming software company, and the arrival of this little girl and the turmoil that has ensued is more stressful than running my business. I can’t figure out one problem before the next one is on my doorstep, and I am one hundred percent in reactionary mode.

I hate that. I am one that needs to be always in control. I need carefully formulated plans that go off with only minor hiccups.

Apparently, that’s not going to be the case with raising a child. And make no mistake; I will be the one to raise her.

Ariel has brought out a side of me that I was sure didn’t exist, and I was perfectly fine with that. I watched my sister, Aspyn, and my brother-in-law, Jace, and the chaos that came with raising their three kids and promptly said, “No thank you.” I was more than OK with being Uncle Wes, rolling into town three or four times a year in one of my shiny sports cars with gifts of obnoxiously noisy toys and sugary treats and rolling back out again to continue my very single—very quiet--bachelor life. I was getting too set in my ways and frankly, I didn’t think I had a paternal bone in my body.

At least that is the standard answer I gave whenever the latest friend or family member hounded me about it. There have been rare times when I have become uncharacteristically introspective about this, and I know that there is a deeper reason that I lack the desire to father a child, but it is not something I am willing to acknowledge, even to myself. Ever.

Let’s leave it at, “Emotions aren’t my thing.”

To people outside of my immediate family, I am more known for being brusque, surly, and easily irritated. But for these three weeks…. this precious child has gotten under my skin. I’m getting attached. Emotions I am no longer familiar with have started to make an appearance. Maybe it’s because when she stares at me with those big green eyes rimmed in long, dark lashes, I feel like she inherently trusts me to look out for her; I don’t know.

Anyway, I read Erik’s letter, and so many memories came back. We were around for some tough stuff with each other growing up, before our falling out in college. I do not know why he thought of me after all these years, but I determined right then I would not let him down. I would not give his baby girl to someone else to raise. I would learn to be the father he believed I could be.

Today, that means I am going to say my goodbyes to him with the rest of our small town and let it become public knowledge that I am Ariel’s guardian.

Only my family knows that this is the case, and the O’Briens have been fighting me in private from the moment they found out. It wouldn’t do to let people realize that they haven’t been involved in Erik’s or Ariel’s life for years or that he would rather leave the decision regarding his daughter’s future to almost anyone but them. He had been right; they sat vigil by his bedside like dutiful parents for two days, then went in front of the cameras with big crocodile tears when the media came around for statements after his death. Losing one of college baseball’s former stars in a final tragedy was big news.

I respected Erik enough not to blow their cover to the whole state of Texas, and since they were keeping quiet about Ariel, I kept my mouth shut. But today, in our hometown of Crystal Creek? They are about to get theirs.

They warned me to stay away from the memorial service to keep up appearances and to help them keep up the lie they have been perpetrating about Caroline’s family taking custody “which of course [they] are absolutely fighting…” Pfft. They can kick rocks. I’m going. I should be able to lay my friend to rest, and his daughter should be there too.

The only person who could stop me is Ariel herself. She has been all right this morning, but if at any point she starts showing signs that she is distressed, I won’t hesitate to change my plans. Yeah, I want to stick it to the O’Briens for their part in Erik’s messy life and for totally ignoring their own granddaughter. I mean, who does that? I still can’t believe that they did. But my agenda is not as important as making sure Ariel feels safe. I think—I hope-- if I can stay calm, she will too.

Her signal that something is bothering her is something I noticed immediately when I found her curled in the corner under our booth when Erik left her with me.

He had shown up at the gaming/tech convention center in the middle of Austin that was hosting the event that weekend. I was the keynote speaker as my company is the best known in the gaming industry, and to say that I was shocked to see him hovering near the side of the stage would be an understatement. Still, it felt like no time had passed when our eyes locked, and we gave our chins a quick uptick at each other in our old way of greeting. I saw Ariel next to him, but the significance didn’t connect then. As people surrounded me when I finished speaking, I pointed Erik out to my assistant, Lyle, and asked that he bring him over to our booth so I could catch up with him in a minute.

Unfortunately, when I got there, Erik was nowhere to be found in the crowd up people swarming our displays. My partner, Jett, was in his element holding court with all our excited fans, and Lyle was trying to keep everyone organized. When I asked if he had seen Erik, he said that Erik had mentioned stepping away to take phone call and asked if Lyle would keep an eye on the little girl, but it had been a while, come to think of it, and his eyes had started to fill with horror as he realized he had lost track of her...

It was in the middle of my annoyance and Lyle’s panic at losing a child that I saw Ariel. She was hiding behind the leg of one of the tables, curled into a little ball, rocking back and forth, with a purple, plush bear crushed in her arms. Her breathing was coming in shallow pants, and the tension in her little body made it clear that she was upset.

Just like Erik with her mother, I knew something was wrong. I hadn’t been around Erik in so long, in many ways I didn’t know him anymore, but I knew in my soul that he was missing, and we needed to find him. Security for the event immediately started a search of the grounds and all buildings, and after they were unsuccessful, the local police force was called in too.

Those were some of the longest hours of my life. Not the worst, but next on the list. I had found his letter quickly, and I spent that entire time waiting for news, praying he did not have time to do what his letter was suggesting.

I was also surprised that Erik was right about Ariel’s reaction to me. She did not respond to my voice per se. I had been calling her name and trying to find a way to calm her without any response whatsoever. But when she heard me say, “My name is Wesley,” her head snapped up, her eyes bore directly into mine, and she stopped shaking. She allowed me to take her hand and lead her to some chairs nearby, and as she sat next to me, her breathing returned to normal.

As the search went on, I realized I could not keep a child at the convention indefinitely. I left everything in Jett’s and Lyle’s capable hands for the day and went home, after finding Erik’s truck and Ariel’s suitcase, just as he had described. I also called my mother because what did I know about raising a kid, much less one with Autism? I was going to need some help in the coming days.

A week went by, and Erik was still missing. It was like he had disappeared off the face of the earth. We couldn’t believe he had left the city of Austin since he left his vehicle behind, but they searched all the way to Crystal Creek without a trace of him.

Then the call came: they found him.

When the news reached me, he was in the ICU after being hit by a car downtown. We did not know where he had been, but he hadn’t left the city. The question at hand was: was he trying to harm himself or was this a horrible accident?

So, this next part I’m not exactly proud of, but the lead detectives on the case would not share their evidence with me, and I am not a patient man; I called in a favor to get footage of the accident from the traffic cameras at the scene, which was a block away from the hospital in which Erik lay. And the more I watched the footage, the more convinced I became.

It was an accident. A terrible, horrifically timed accident.

It looked like Erik wasn’t even paying attention when he stepped into the intersection, but the “Walk” signal was fully visible, and all oncoming traffic was stopped. Then the driver of the car that hit him ran the light.

I feel that the fact that he was a block away from the hospital means something as well: he changed his mind. He was going to get help. He was going to get help so he could come back to his baby girl, and he didn’t get the chance. I will believe that until my last breath.

And that is the story I tell Ariel every night before she sleeps: “Your dad loved you so much. So much that he was trying to get better so he could come home to you.”

You can piece together the rest of the story. Erik’s parents were called as soon as he was admitted as his next of kin, and they have been causing trouble for me ever since. Even calling again this morning telling me that they knew I was in town and reminding me that I should stay away.

I huff a little under my breath at the memory and look in the mirror to make sure the knot in my tie is straight. Then I look at Ariel who is sitting quietly on the bed behind me, staring at nothing, her purple, plush bear held snuggly in her arms.

Stay away? Nope. Not going to happen.

Today is for Erik.