My last drop of tears

The older lady is dead.”

The maid stood at the doorway, she didn’t sound emotional. It felt more like she was reporting something that no longer required reaction. And that thing happened to be the death of my mother. Time stopped and everything inside me reacted at once. Just not outwardly.

My hands were still wrapped around my father’s trouser legs. I could feel the fabric under my fingers. I could also feel something inside of me loosen.

I slowly looked up.

“Repeat that,” It was my first time giving an order.

My voice didn’t sound like mine.

The maid hesitated before speaking again.

“The older lady… she passed during the night.”

While I was here on my knees. Begging for time that was already gone. My grip on my father’s trousers loosened before I realized it and for a moment, no one spoke.

Until Adrian exhaled softly.

“Convenient timing,” he said under his breath.

My body finally moved. I stood up slowly and watched as my father adjusted his sleeve, like standing up required his permission. He wasn’t looking at me, he wasn’t even acknowledging what had just changed.

“She was sick,” he said flatly. “These things happen.”

These things.

Like she wasn’t a person. My throat tightened.

“She needed medication,” I said.

I was still calm, but my voice had already changed.

My father finally looked at me with annoyance.

“As I said,” he replied, “you have been corrected.”

Correction was depriving my sick mother of her drugs?

My hands curled slightly at my sides, but I couldn’t move.

Adrian stepped forward slightly.

“She was going to die anyway,” he said casually. “Don’t act like this changes anything.”

For the first time that night, I looked directly at him. There was satisfaction in his eyes. He was satisfied with the idea that people like her ended quietly. My father turned away and I knew that move too well. The conversation was already over for him.

“You may leave,” he said.

The room had moved on.

The monster I call my father walked out of his study and his son followed behind him. The senior maid watched me quietly. I stayed there a moment longer, then I turned and walked out.

The hallway outside was normal.

Servants moved as usual. Doors opened and closed. Somewhere far away, laughter from the remaining guests still floated through the house like nothing had changed.

But for me, everything had changed. I had no idea what to do first so I walked without direction.. until I stood before my mother’s room. My hand touched the door before I even thought about it.

I pushed it open. The air inside was different now, the room felt empty in a way it had never been before.

The bed was still there, the blanket still folded the same way.

But she didn’t look the same.

I stood at the doorway unable to move, I couldn’t leave either. My eyes landed on her body. She didn't call my name softly like I was something worth holding onto.

“Ethan…”

I heard it again in my head. But it wasn’t real,

My fingers tightened against the doorframe.

Then I took a step inside. One step.Then another.

I sat on the edge of her bed hoping she would call my name but for the first time, there was no response.

No voice asking me anything.

My mind drifted to when I was sixteen. Mother had asked about my prom date and I blushed hard.

It wasn’t worth it in the end.

Adrain had danced with her. I remember walking into her waiting arms as I cried in despair. I had asked why Adrian took everything from me.

My mother’s absence was louder than anything I had ever heard in that house. My hand moved to the side of her bed. Her pillow was still slightly indented so I tried to adjust it the way I used to.

But she was heavy.

I felt hot tears stream down my face. I sat there for a long time. Until the night outside deepened completely, until even the house stopped being alive.

That was when I found my voice,

“I’m still here.”

My voice broke slightly on the last word.

I wiped my tears. I had to bury her, I wouldn’t let my filthy father do it. I stood up, tried to control my tears but it only got worse. I picked up her scrawny body bridal style and walked out of the room. Thunder struck loud and sharp and that was when I realized it was raining.

“Lucien”

It was the senior maid.

Her eyes held something I hadn’t seen in forever.

Pity.

No one ever pitied me.

She stood at the end of the hallway, the house was quiet except for the sound of the outpouring rain and relentless thunder.

I could imagine my dad on a conference call, Yagazi by her desk shopping for clothes, Adriane would be watching horror movies while he picked his nose.

Nobody cared, maybe it wouldn't hurt this much if someone pretended to care.

I walked past the senior maid, she didn’t stop me and I was grateful for that. She might be in trouble with my father when morning comes.

I moved past the stairs, the living room and then the front door. I looked around the magnificent mansion that was hell for me. I’d rather die than remain here.

I couldn’t think of the consequences of leaving. I couldn’t afford to think. I stepped out into the darkness, still carrying my mother’s beautiful body. The rain soaked through my clothes within seconds, relentless, but I could barely feel the cold. Or maybe I did, it just didn’t matter anymore. Her weight in my arms was the only thing that felt real. She was too light. Too fragile. Like if I held her any tighter, she would disappear completely.

I tightened my grip anyway.

The gates stood ahead, tall and silent, just like they always had been. The gate keeper watched in pity as he opened the door. Words must have reached him too. Right before I stepped out, I stopped and turned to look. The mansion stood behind me, glowing under warm lights, untouched by the storm. Untouched by loss. Untouched by everything it had taken.

I stared at it, quietly memorizing it. It is the place where everything was taken from me, piece by piece, until nothing was left worth begging for.

Thunder cracked across the sky.

And something inside me shifted. It was colder than the wind.

I turned away.

And this time, I didn’t look back again.

This is the last night I will cry.