The Lesbian Gene

“In today’s continuing news, Steven Blackwell, of the Blackwell Research Industries had made it back to the country prior to spending months in the Middle East. With his return, the rallies that had spread all over United Stalwart had intensified; what with his main project— The Lesbian and Gay Gene making its waves. Marco, why don’t you enlighten us further on this issue?”

“Of course, Karen. Thank you. Now, as some of our viewers probably know, the Lesbian and Gay Gene, also known as XQ21, or simply the Gay Gene, had been discovered last year by Doctor Steven Blackwell, a renowned geneticist. With this discovery, we now know that those from the LGBT are specifically born with the gene. Needless to say, it is not a choice to be gay or lesbian, as some old folks used to say. It is a natural state brought out by the body. Why or how, nobody knows.”

“Good point. But Marco. . . What the people are really rallying about here isn’t the discovery of XQ21, is it? It’s the cure that is being proposed?”

“Well yes, Karen. There’s that. Due to the recent statistical count that was uncovered—“

WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A FLASH REPORT. WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A FLASH REPORT. WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A FLASH REPORT.

Sometimes I think that if the world was to end today, I would be among the first ones to go.

“Pax, honey?” Mom’s gentle voice echoed into my room. “What have you been watching there? It’s time for school.”

“Nothing, mom.”

I turned the TV off before the flash report had even began, and grabbed my backpack, prepared to go down.

Sometimes I think that the world ending isn’t really to have a resolution. Its purpose is to weed people. People like me who are not needed anymore.

Mom met me down the stairs, with her kindly brown eyes, kissed my cheek, and gave me a look.

“Are you sure it’s nothing?” She pried. “But why do you look so pale?”

“She always looks pale.” My dad, Owen Leighton, emerged from his study, kissed me on the cheek too. “Now, now, Christie.” He gave mom a pointed glance. “Don’t be too Doctor-ish before having breakfast with our daughter. You know having two surgeon’s in this house is awkward enough.”

Both of them then continued to the kitchen, with me following right behind.

Sometimes I think that if the world was to end, it would go in sparkling colors.

“Breakfast, honey?” Mom gave me a look. “Oh, Pax. . . You’re still spacing out.”

“Sorry, mom.”

But not once did I think that it was going to be like this.

I went around the kitchen table, gave a fake smile as my dad handed me a plate.

That I’d be forced into hiding— that I would somehow find a reason to live.

I filled my plate with pancakes, drizzled it with syrup.

That I would fight for my life because I had always been weak.

THE LESBIAN GENE

“Are you really sure you don’t want one of us staying here? Your father and I could take a break.”

It was a few minutes after eating breakfast. My parents, who were both Doctors on Sierra Vista, the capital of Stalwart, were needed for tonight; on call for a few days. But for some reason, none of them looked like they wanted to go. Especially my mom, whose light brown eyes, perceptive as always, looking at me with worry.

I tucked my similar-colored hair away, then caught a glimpse of my freckled-specked face on the hallway mirror before shaking my head, which made mom frown even more. “Are you sure?” She prompted. “That you don’t want us to stay?”

“Yes, mom. I’m sure.”

A four-word answer from me. Which my dad, who was just exiting his study again— now with his bag, didn’t look too fond off. “Maybe I should take a break.” He sighed. “We’d been on call so much for the past few months, I feel like we hadn’t been spending as much time as we need with you, Pax. Hey. . . “ His face brightened, just as he straightened his scrubs. “I have an idea. Why don’t you and I kill the day watching movies instead?”

“I have school, dad. But thanks.”

“Are you sure, though?” He grinned. And just as he did, I felt a familiar jab in my stomach. His goofy smile, coupled with his dark brown eyes, reminded me of something.

I fiddled with the beaded bracelet on my wrist. “Really,” I said. “You don’t have to stay on my account. Besides, I have this. . . This school project.”

“Oh?” Dad took to mom for support. But of course, both of them ended up looking a bit lost, as it always had been the case with me. So dad just cleared his throat and took a step towards me. “Look. . . “ he trailed, reaching his hand. “I know it’s been tough the past couple of months, what with school and us barely being here. And. . .” He quickly cleared his throat again, frowned. “Which reminds me. How are you holding up with the rally? It’s all over the news.”

“Rally? What’s that got to do with anything?” I asked.

The two of them gave each other knowing looks, and a part of me realized what he was getting at, causing me to freeze.

“I. . . really need to make it to the bus stop now!” I panicked. “I don’t want to be late for this. . . this thing!”

With that, I kissed my dad’s left cheek. I kissed my mom’s right cheek. And off to school I went.

My chest was about to burst when I made to the bus stop. How the hell did they manage to figure me out?

Lesbian; The word echoed in my head. Lesbian, like, someone who likes women. Lesbian, like, someone who feels differently— something I haven’t experienced for any boy before.

Lesbian.

Like me.

“Uh, excuse me, but are you just going to stand there and get in our way?”

The question made me look behind. To a curly-haired boy with this pompous air around him, complete with a blue Hawaiian beach shirt, and a jacket thrown over it, was staring me up and down, was waving his hand towards me.

“Well?” Neil Rogers, I recognized him, folded his arms. He was in most of my classes. I could easily name the tall lanky boy who always had a scowl reserved for everyone.

I glanced beside him and saw his best friend, Audra Gillis, there as well, opening her lips.

I gulped. Well, that was my cue to leave, wasn’t it?

Immediately, I stepped away from them, which I knew would be the better alternative than to have Neil Rogers irritated at me, especially so early in the morning.

He immediately took Audra’s arm, pulled her towards the waiting bus that I didn’t notice was already there. “Good call, Pax Leighton,” Neil said, as they passed me by. “Audra, will you please hurry up?”

I followed them onto the bus right afterwards, keeping my head low. The seat that I got was next to a boy who I barely took a look at, as I was busy surveying Neil and his friend who sat right in front of the bus.

Neil’s friend, who was the most beautiful girl in the world, to be exact.

Caramel-colored hair. Grey piercing eyes and all that shebang. With her brown leather jacket, you would immediately know that Audra Gillis was a badass.

Except. . .

I ducked behind the seat in front of me when she looked right behind her and seemed to search for someone. Those beautiful traits of hers wasn’t the thing that made me like her.

It wasn’t her looks. It wasn’t her smile.

I sat straighter and saw that she wasn’t looking at the back anymore, and sighed.

I liked Audra for numerous other things. Too bad, she didn’t know that.

It all started last year at 11th grade. I was supposed to go on the stage for some performance that our school had proposed, which I had said no to a couple of times before, but still did anyway because I needed it for the extra credit.

It was a bad time of my life. Long story short, I cried on the stage. Everyone laughed at me. . . Teased me. Said mean things to me. And just when someone was about to throw a bottle on my face, this girl with the brown jacket stopped the guy and made him apologize— made everyone apologize, in fact.

I didn’t know what I would do without Audra Gillis’ help that time. She had completely save me from humiliation, which was why I vowed to say thank you to her one of these days; a day which had not come yet, even after a year.

I banged my head on the chair right in front of me, feeling stupid because of my inadequacies.

“I mean, how hard is it to say thank you?” I groaned. “And to a girl you owe so much to? This is why you don’t have any friends, Pax Leighton. You’re too scared to approach people.”

“I can be your friend.”

My stomach knotted when I turned to the left. The guy I was sitting with was looking at me with interest.

My eyes narrowed at him. “Huh?”

“Sorry,” he said, shifting on his seat. “The name’s Hanz Peterson.” He reached out a hand to me. A huge bear claw was more like it, seeing that our school wrestling champion— blonde, golden boy, was wearing this varsity jacket to prove it; was built like a tank.

How did I not notice him there when he nearly took up all the space?

“So. . .” he said, shaking my hand anyway. “I heard that you needed a friend? Well I’m right here to fulfill that.”

“Excuse me?” I said.

The blue-eyed kid— if I could still call him a kid with his 6’3” frame, shook his head, looking embarrassed. “Sorry again,” he said. “I thought you were talking to me. And since I’m your only seat-mate here, well. . .”

I quickly looked away. He was getting the wrong ideas. And maybe it was my fault for feeding him that. “No,” I said. “I mean, yes.”

“Which is it, really, Pax Leighton?”

I turned to him again, eyebrows cocked. “You know me?” I asked.

“Of course. Everyone in the school does.”

I nearly died on the spot. Of course they’d know me. I was the biggest loser ever. Not to mention, I didn’t have any friends.

Well, after my only friend from grade school left two years ago, at least.

Either way, Hanz Peterson was looking at me with this curious blue eyes that made me more defensive.

“What are you doing here anyway?” I found myself saying. “Aren’t you supposed to ride your own car? Like all the popular kids do?”

“It’s a Jeep, actually,” he corrected with a shrug. “And the cheerleaders used it yesterday for an emergency, which is why they’re returning it later— no biggie if you ask me. Besides. . .” He nudged his head forward.

I didn’t know who he was nudging to, seeing that he could see things I couldn’t with his height. “Audra Gillis is pretty popular,” he reasoned. “But she still rides the bus.”

He had a point. A good one at it. Not that I would tell him that.

I froze when Hanz lowered his head next to mine then, as if he was about to do something bad. But then his mouth stopped next to my ear, putting me at even greater unease. “Do you like her?” he whispered. “Audra Gillis, I mean?” The boy’s hand gently squeezed my shoulder. I didn’t even realize that it had made it there. “Go for it.” He encouraged. “I heard that Audra is available. I also heard that she turned down half of the school because she’s picky as hell.” His chuckles sent a shiver down my spine. “Who knows, Pax? Maybe the two of you. . . One of these days—“

The bus lurched to a stop.

Okay, that’s enough.

Hurriedly, I got on my feet, took my bag, tried to get out of there. Behind me, Hanz, was still trying to talk, as if I would listen to him after that.

“Hey, Pax!” He called. “Hey. . . About that friendship?”

Friendship my ass! I thought as I got mixed up with the students on the aisle— all heading down the bus to get to the school.

Looking up, I saw that Audra and Neil weren’t there anymore.

What Hanz had said bothered me as I walked on the school corridor a few minutes later. Well, not only what he said, but our whole encounter too. I mean, this was the first time I talked to him, and he had the guts to imply that I was lesbian. Was I that obvious to everyone?

I reached my locker and took some books, tried to drown out everyone’s conversations, especially when it didn’t involve me.

But one or two, managed to get to my ears my anyway.

“Have you heard?”

“About what?”

About that news yesterday?” A student passing behind me said.

“What about?” his companion asked.

“The lesbian gene, man. The rallies are getting bad. And they’re getting closer to my house too.”

“But isn’t the government doing anything?”

“Dude. . . It’s the government’s fault there’s a rally in the first place.”

I pushed my locker shut. The rally had been the talk of the town. Even the school as well. That topic was nonstop.

I took a heavy sigh. But before I could dwell upon it more, I heard someone calling my name. “Pax Leighton,” it said. “Hey! There you are. I’d been looking all over for you.”

Crap.

It was Hanz again. Quickly, I ducked behind a group of students who were walking straight towards me, tried to blend in with them, hopefully lost him.

I took a peek behind and saw that Hanz was no longer there. God, what did he want?

Dashing up the stairs, I headed to my classroom where he wouldn’t be a bother anymore. Perfect timing too.

Audra Gillis was on her seat, Neil absent from her side, the moment I entered the classroom.

Instantly, I relaxed. Usually, Neil and Audra were two inseparable beings— it was hard to pull them apart. Where one would go, the other would follow. And not only that, while Audra was impassive, Neil always felt like a guard dog who would attack everyone who got close to her, which was one of the reasons why up to now I haven’t even thanked her.

One of the reasons, I repeat.

And the others?

I looked around for Neil once more, saw that he was nowhere near the room.

Well, one of the reasons why I haven’t thanked Audra yet was because I was always scared. Weak. But now it didn’t matter anymore. I was given this opportunity, and I wasn’t going to waste it.