05

CHAPTERS 05

And suddenly, today, his dream is almost ripped off from his hands because of this insignificant human being. Me. Because of his impulsive decision to save me.

Then I remember something that Mom said a year ago.

« Mom, why are you crying ? » I stepped into Mom’s room as soon as I saw her wiping a tear from her eye, sitting on her bed.

When I came face to face with her, I noticed the new bruise she had on her cheek.

« That asshole did this to you again, didn’t he ? » My voice was shaking with rage. How dared Tuck hurt her again. I felt sick all over again. « He deserves to rot in hell. I hate men like him. They think that they can treat women like trash, just because they’re physically stronger and have more power against us. »

Mom brushed her fingers across my cheek, a sad smile touching her lips. « Not all men are like that, sweetheart. Your father wasn’t like that. He wasn’t anything like that. »

I wish I’d known my biological father, but I couldn’t have. He’d died because of a car accident when I was barely two years old.

As if sensing how clueless I was, Mom continued to explain, « Some men are the most amazing human beings that can happen to us. They love us and cherish us. They respect us. They protect us. »

They respect us. They protect us.

The words echo in my ears. Is this what she was talking about ? Did I just witness him protecting me ?

Something unfamiliar stirs in my heart. Something strange. I don’t know how I suddenly got it, but now, thinking about one particular boy warms my insides.

The bell rings, and it’s time for a lunch break. I sigh, packing my books into my bag.

I can’t concentrate in class earlier because my mind is filled with worry about Jake and his next football match.

What if the coach still won’t let him play because his wound isn’t getting better ?

Or even if he’s allowed to play, what if they lose the game because he’s not in a fit condition ?

Stepping out of the classroom, I wonder how I’m going to talk to him.

I still haven’t thanked him for saving me, and I still haven’t apologized to him about what happened.

Just my luck, while I’m heading to my locker, I see him. Jake is walking in my direction, his backpack slung across his shoulder.

His left upper arm is wrapped in a bandage, catching people’s attention as they pass by, wondering about what might have happened to the quarterback.

Oh, no. What should I do ?

I don’t usually speak to guys in my school, and I never thought that I have to do this to Jake Spencer while I’ve clearly just ruined him.

What would he think of me now ?

As the distance between us shortens, our eyes meet, and I hold my breath, preparing whatever it is that’s about to come out from his mouth. And preparing to say that I was truly sorry but at the same time grateful that he saved me.

But strangely, his eyes and expression are indifferent, as if he doesn’t recognize who I am.

He just passes me casually, and I’m too caught up with him that I don’t realize walking straight to the locker, my face crashing it.

People around me burst into laughter.

Shit. They must be thinking that I was too mesmerized by the school’s prince.

Their faces speak ‘Dream on’. Now, I don’t even know which one contributes more in making my face red like a boiled crab – the pain from the smack, or the embarrassment.

Stupid me. I just realize it now that Jake didn’t even recognize me.

It’s understandable, since my back was facing him on the bus.

If only I could travel to another planet to hide from this embarrassment, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Two days have passed since the incident, and I still haven’t mustered the courage to speak to Jake.

I don’t know why, but since I found out that he didn’t even recognize me, opening up to him about the fact that I was the girl who was molested by the pervert seems humiliating.

I hate myself for having such a hard time just to utter a simple ‘Thank you’ and ‘Sorry’.

While waiting for the first class to start this morning, I notice that Matt, one of my classmates who also joins the football team, steps into the classroom. He’s then greeted by the class president.

« How was football practice ? Everything good ? » the class president asks, giving Matt a fist bump. « The big game is coming up, huh ? »

Matt smirks. « Yeah. Good news, though. Jake is back, so we could stick to the old plan. I’m pretty confident about this Friday. »

My heart leaps in excitement. Thank God.

So it turns out that the coach still gives Jake another chance to lead Friday’s game. I’m so relieved.

The teacher arrives, and all of us settle in our seats, preparing to start the class.

Finally, after these torturing past few days, my heart feels more lightweight, like a huge pressure on it has been lifted.

It’s the day before the game that I finally decide to approach Jake. He deserves my appreciation and apology.

School has just ended, and I find myself looking for him.

My heart thumps hard against my ribs as I catch sight of him hanging out with his friends outside the cafeteria, basically just chilling out while sitting at a table outdoor.

They’re laughing about something, and I gulp, making my way to them.

Once I step in front of them, I can feel that my heart is racing like I’m running a marathon.

Maybe, it isn’t a good idea to do this in front of the other guys, since it will only make me embarrassed even more.

But I never had the chance to speak to him exclusively, so this is my chance. I feel like I have to do this before tomorrow’s game.

Hold up. There aren’t only guys here. There’s actually a girl sitting beside Jake. It’s Melanie, his sister, who’s happily eating ice cream now.

She’s still in the tenth grade, two years younger than us. She’s like the princess of this school, looking nothing less like those in fairy tale, with her effortlessly beautiful blonde hair and emerald eyes.

Many guys are after her, but they’re too afraid to have a confrontation with Jake.

And her existence here apparently doesn’t help my self-esteem. At all.

In short, I feel like an alien standing here before all these people.

The guys haven’t even noticed my existence, but Melanie does. She stops licking her ice cream and elbows Jake on the stomach.

« Um… Jake, I think someone wants to talk to you, » she says to her brother and gives me a warm smile.

So the rumors are true. She’s a real angel.

Jake shifts his attention to me, and so do his buddies. Their laughter stops short, and so does my heart.

Damn. They’re all looking at me. This nerdy. They’re all going to laugh at me, aren’t they ?

I look down, adjusting my glasses. When I look up again, I notice that some of the guys scoff. But Jake doesn’t.

He waits for me to speak, and his gaze isn’t intimidating. He’s being attentive.