Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I got ready for bed, praying that I wouldn’t have any weird dreams that night. I was sixteen years old. These dreams should’ve stopped by now right?

Wrong. I was warped back to the familiar place. I started to name it The Fields because of the green scenery and the tall long grasses that resembled grains in a field.

As usual, the shack was just a couple yards away. And of course, I found myself going through the motions of walking into the shack and finding the wolf looking at me. The same story was actually getting a little bit tiring. I carefully back up to the wall so I wasn’t near the wolf and I continued around the wall till I was on the opposite side. A single window looked out into the open fields and conveniently there was a small bench where I propped myself down.

The wolf shape-shifted into a child and walked up behind me. He copied me and sat down right next to me. I flinched a little and I felt the child/wolf’s unease. He scooted a little away from me as if trying to give me more room. He stared out the window, his eyes looked as if they saw more than what was out there. The child itself was physically young and childlike but when I observed more closely and clearly, the child’s eyes seemed to be aged and knowing.

Suddenly, the child caught me gazing at him and turned to look at me. There was an old familiarity in his eyes but I couldn’t exactly match the eyes with its name. “Do I know you?” I asked.

The child looked back at me curiously. I asked again in a calming, mollifying voice. “It’s okay. Don’t be afraid.”

The child finally nodded up and down. “Who are you then?”

The child seemed to be frustrated. It seemed as if he wanted to talk but there was something stopping him. But before I could continue on this investigation, I felt something pull me back. I looked behind me but there was nothing there. The feeling of pulling was still behind me. I realized then that I was waking up. I wasn’t ready to go yet. I had to know about this child. How did I know him or how did he know me? The familiar feeling of falling came afterwards and I was rushed back into reality.

The dream must’ve been a lot longer because when I looked out the window, the sun had already risen and the birds were already up, singing and flying around the neighborhood. A screamed interrupted the bird’s orchestra of cheery tunes. It came from downstairs. Mom, I instantly thought. I jumped off my bed and ran downstairs. The scream pierced the quiet morning again. The kitchen. I skittered across the hard wooden floor and found my parents at the morning table with a letter in their hand.

The results.

My dad came up and put an arm around my shoulder. “Congrats Jules,” he said smiling, wet eyes full of pride. “I’m so proud of you.”

That could only mean one thing. I made it. I really made the almost impossible test. For a second there, I wasn’t sure if I heard right but they showed me the letter. It said I made it alright. My mom was sobbing now, the table cloth was getting all wet and…snotty.

“My baby. You made it,” she said spilling saltier tears.

I stood there motionless. How could I have made it? I would leave everything in my life tomorrow and start anew. I couldn’t even grasp the fact that I even passed it. My legs must’ve gave up on me because the next I know it my dad grabs me, pulling my dead weight.

“Are you alright, Julie?” he asked sounding concern but I could feel his joy. I of course did not feel alright at all. I didn’t know if I’d ever be. “You should be enjoying this. This school will give you more opportunities for a better future.”

Typical. Of course my parents wouldn’t really care about what I thought of this but I understood where they came from. They just wanted a better future for me but I honestly didn’t want to leave my home, my friends but the government wouldn’t give me any choice and even if I did, my parents would counter my choice. I drew back a sigh and attempted to stand up without my dad’s steady hand.

“I think I’m going to go out for a walk,” I said finally. My mom gave me a hug and another congratulation and then I found myself walking towards the café. I texted my friends to meet me there so I could break them the news. I didn’t know how they were going to react. I enjoyed the silent walk from my house to the café. It wouldn’t be quiet after everyone in town finds out about me making it. I stepped inside the familiar aroma of the coffee that was regularly served there.

“Over here, Julie,” Daniel’s voice called out. I turned to find my friends waiting for me, smiling. I felt a rush of nerves attacking me as I slumped back on the chair next to Daniel.

“What’s wrong?” Carly said worriedly.

“I made it,” I simply blurted. I didn’t know how else to put it.

“YOU WHAT?” the three said in unison.

“Yeah,” I said quietly.

“You made it into the Academy?!” Carly practically shouted. Lots of heads turned in our direction. I tried to hide my face in case anyone noticed they were talking about me. “How on earth?”

“I know,” I said, quieter than a whisper. Max still hasn’t recovered from shock but spoke up.

“I mean we want to congratulate you and all but this is so fast,” he murmured. He drew in a quick breath. “Dang,” he concluded.

“I know. I didn’t know how else to tell you guys. I really don’t want to go. I want you guys to understand that.”

Daniel hadn’t really said much in the conversation. I looked over and saw his troubling eyes. It wasn’t the usual clear, ocean blue but it grew stormy and dark as if something sinister was taking place. He looked pretty mad by the look of his contorted face.

“Daniel,” I said softly, reaching out for his arm but he flinched as if my touch was a contagious disease. He looked grimly at me.

“You really have to go,” he said more of as a statement than a question.

“I have no choice. You know I want to stay.”

“But you’re still going.”

“Yeah but-“

“You’re never coming back.”

“Hold up,” interrupted Carly. “She’s still gonna visit so don’t go all emo on us.”

“Yeah. When Julie visit, we have to get together and have a big blow out party,” Max said with an encouraging smile. He directed a warm smile towards me making me feel a lot better but Daniel’s silence still bothered me.

“Everything will be alright,” Carly said a little sadly but she tried to smile. She was my first friend since I abruptly moved here when I was 14 years old. I apparently was at the wrong place at the wrong time in an accidental fire and I woke up weeks later in the hospital. I didn’t remember anything. I had amnesia the doctors said and recommended us to move someplace else, to make new memories. I moved here and quickly became good friends with Carly and now, I had to leave to a place I loved and literally forced to go to some prep school.

I looked at my friends around me right then. Carly and Max gave me encouraging smiles. I already had their blessings and approval but Daniel on the other hand didn’t seem to even pretend a smile. I could tell the aura around him was dark and musky. I was really going to miss him. It was only yesterday when we finally got things going and now I had to leave. I felt his anger right then. It burned inside of me to. A part of me felt rebellious and wanted to run away from the whole prep school future but I knew I couldn’t do that. I sighed, feeling the burden of everything from the last few days.

“You look tired,” Carly said frowning. “Maybe you should head back. You have to pack up anyway and I can help you fit everything you need.” She got up from the table. “It’s girl’s time so you guys should have your manly talk that guys do,” she said smiling at Max.

They pecked each other on the lips before Carly and I walked out of the café. I sort of waved and said bye to Daniel but he just nodded stiffly, his face still in pain but for what specific reason? That I had to leave and he’d miss me? Or that I had kissed him just yesterday and now I was leaving him for good as if I really did have a choice?

***************************

Carly practically dragged my sorry butt upstairs and grabbed a big suitcase that my mom must’ve put aside for my packing. I settled on my bed, wanting to die of broken heartedness. “Get up, you lazy bum.”

“Why’d you make us leave?”

“Because Daniel was kind of ruining your mood. He was just making it worse,” she said tossing some clothes into the suitcase. “What’s his problem? I thought he was always so calm and in control.” That’s the same thing I thought about.

“Maybe he’s just shocked or too tired to do anything,” I murmured. “I’ll see tomorrow before I leave, I’ll try to fix it then.” I didn’t want to leave him in a bad note. Oh my gosh I was now accepting the fact that I was going to the Academy. I stifled a small cry.

Carly looked at me with compassion and kindness in her eyes. “Hey Jules, don’t worry. Even if you’re leaving, you know where to find us if you ever get a chance to get out.”

Carly left after helping me finish up with the massive packing. The letter from the Academy said that they had their own little shopping center inside the campus and that there was no need to bring so many items but when Carly was in control, you can’t really stop her from getting her way. I look at my two huge suitcases. Originally Carly was going for four but I convinced her that two was more than enough.

My parents came into my room just to talk some things out like what exactly would happen tomorrow and that I could contact them anytime, any day. The driver will be here tomorrow 9 a.m. sharp to drive me on an eight hour car drive to the Academy. I thanked them and they left me alone for the night. I snuggled into bed and slept.

I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing. The sun rays completely wake my tired face. I didn’t have any dream I later realized. I got up from bed and noticed two huge suitcases. Today was the day I told myself. I straightened up a bit and got freshen up for the big day.

After breakfast, Carly texted me that the three of them would come shortly. I waited outside on the porch swinging on the little swinging porch chair we had when I saw Daniel walk towards my house. He still has the gloomy face but his eyes were back to its blue, maybe a few shades darker.

“Hey,” I said as he came up to the porch and sat next to me. His weight gave a slight push and we rocked back and forth for a while. “Are you ever going to talk to me?” I said finally getting tired of his silent behavior. I mean he was a pretty quiet kid but he wasn’t always quiet around me.

“I’m just in thought,” he said in a husky voice. It was a little off the edge but I wasn’t much concerned.

“About what?”

“Everything…it’s just coming down too fast ya know?”

“Yeah,” I barely whispered. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t answer. “Daniel?” An awkward silence hovered around us. I shifted uncomfortably. “Don’t be like this.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“You know I wish I could-“ He kissed me hard before I could finished my sentence. It wasn’t like the one we shared in the ferris wheel or the car. It was urgent and desperate kiss as if he never wanted to let me go. I eagerly kissed back, wanting more of him. I realized that I truly did not want to leave. I had to stay and be with Daniel. We had everything ready for the future. College with Carly and, a house just the four of us all together, happy and relaxed but I had no choice.

The reality of me having to leave overtook me and I started to sob. I broke away from the kiss and cried. Tears spilled and Daniel took me into his embrace. His chin rested on my black hair and he held me that way as I cried. My sob turned into little intake of breath. He stroke my hair trying to soothe me.

“It’s okay,” he murmured.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I said between hiccups.

“Just promise to visit.”

“I-I promise.” He kissed my forehead, his gray-blue eyes lifted a little to its original sapphire blue eyes.

Daniel looked up from where we were sitting. I heard footsteps coming down the deserted street and saw Carly and Max walking over. He let go of me as I tried to regain my posture, not ready to say one last good-bye. Carly, however, noticed my tear stained face.

“Oh, honey,” she said and ran up to me. She hugged me tightly and for the second time that day, I started to cry. Carly shook before me to and cried. We both stood there crying into each other’s arms. “I’m going to miss you so much, Julie.”

“Me to,” I bawled.

"Don't you ever forget me Julie Gilbert," Carly sobbed as she squeezed me. She was a lot stronger than I thought.

The screech of a car seemed to blast into the quiet neighborhood. It was time to leave. My parents came out from the noise of the car. My dad took my suitcases and loaded them into the trunk as the car parked right in front of my house.

I hugged Max and he whispered, “I’m going to miss you little kiddo. Come home visit.” He looked grim but tried to mask it with a smile. I hugged Carly again and I think I was crying. I couldn’t tell by that point because it was all a blur.

Next I hugged Daniel and he gave me one last kiss that may have lingered too long for my parent’s approval. “You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Julie. Don't forget," he whispered as he gave me his last hug.

Lastly, I hugged my parents. My mom started to cry and my dad looked teary eyed to. After I hugged everyone and cried a bit more, the driver led me to the backseat and closed it behind me.

I waved at my parents as the driver turned on the ignition. And just like that, I left my life behind to go to a new place, a new life.