2

Okay, maybe he wouldn’t feel her hands shaking through the material of his clothing. Maybe he wouldn’t sense the incredible need that there seemed to be no escape from. A need that had tormented her since the day she first met him in Aruba.

“God. Tey.” His hands slid down her arms, gripped her hips and jerked her closer, pulling her against the hard, heated length of his cock.

Behind denim, thick and hard, the hot flesh of his erection was a wedge of temptation, a promise of satisfaction, and it was pressing into her lower stomach erotically. She could feel that promise within her grasp. His hands gripped and kneaded her ass, lifting her, the silk of her gown pressing between her legs as she felt his thigh pressing between hers, the rough denim rubbing the silk against the swollen, sensitive flesh of her sex.

She had never deemed herself a romantic person, but she saw starbursts. She felt herself melting, her knees weakening and her breathing becoming harsh and labored.

His teeth nipped at her lips as she gasped, fighting to draw in oxygen. His lips tore away from hers, the rasp of the day’s growth of his beard scraping against her jaw in a caress that had her arching closer to the incredible sensation. Finally. He was finally touching her, kissing her. Finally she was in his arms where she ached to be.

It was exquisite. It was better than she had ever imagined it could be and her imagination was damned good. Years of fantasies were finally becoming reality.

“Jordan.” The gasp of his name was a sigh of pleasure as she felt his hand move from her rear to her thigh, his fingers edging beneath the silk of her gown, the callused tips of his fingers stroking up the outside of her thigh. The rasping sensation of his flesh against hers drove her pleasure higher, hotter.

“Is this what you want, Tey?” His arm wrapped around her waist, lifted her, and before she could do more than breathe out roughly she was pressed against the wall as he gripped her thigh, pulling it to his hips as he brought her closer to the incredible warmth of his body.

Her gown fell back from her thighs as she felt his hard, muscular thigh press harder, more firmly, into the sensitive mound of her pussy.

“Jordan,” the moan rose unbidden. “I’ve needed this. I’ve needed this so desperately.”

“More?” he growled. “Do you want more, Tey?”

More? She was ready to beg for more, did that count?

Her clit throbbed. The aching torment of unquenched pleasure rose inside her, burning through her body and dampening her skin with perspiration. Her breasts were swollen and sensitive, her nipples tight and hard. Every cell in her body was screaming for his touch.

“Answer me, Tey.” Rougher, darker, his voice stroked over her senses as she felt his fingers curve over the bare flesh of her rear. “Do you want more, sweetheart? Is this what you want?” His fingers curved, pushed beneath her rear, and found the lush, slick flesh of her pussy weeping in need. Swollen, sensitive, the folds of flesh felt too hot, too slick and wet with her juices.

“Yes.” It was a hiss of exquisite pleasure the only answer she could give. His fingers stroked, rubbing against the clenched opening of her pussy, and sent rasping flares of pleasure rushing through the sensitive flesh, through her clit and straight to the inner walls of her pussy.

Oh God, she wanted to come. She was so close. She could feel the need throbbing in her clit, rushing through her veins. It was a pleasure born of emotion, and she knew it. Emotion she’d kept tightly reined, until now. Until his kiss, his touch, had released it.

Until his fingers rubbed against her opening, pressed and parted the sensitive flesh to slip inside just enough to make her entire body burn. To penetrate just deep enough to make her hungrier, to make her moan in rising excitement.

“You’ve been begging for it, Tey,” he groaned, his voice dark and rough, as the tips of his fingers stroked and rubbed sensitive flesh, sending pleasure rocking through her.

“And you haven’t?” she gasped, her head rolling against the wall as those two fingers sank just deeply enough to drag an unwilling cry from her throat. “Every time you warned one of your men off…” A startled, desperate cry tore from her lips as his fingers jerked back, then plunged forward, stroking inside her with a whiplash of intensity certain to weaken her mind. Stretching, heating, the walls of her pussy clenched desperately as though to hold his fingers locked inside her.

Her hips jerked, trying to force his fingers deeper as she felt her juices gathering, saturating his fingers as he pulled back and thrust inside her again. The shallow strokes were just enough to build the flames of sensual desperation higher.

“If one of my men had touched you, I would have had to kill him,” he suddenly snarled, his fingers fucking deeper inside her. Her pussy creamed shamefully around his fingers as pleasure surged through it. “I would have made sure he was gone, Tehya, one way or the other.”

He lifted his head and those wild blue eyes glared down at hers, his dark face flushed with lust. She fought to keep her eyes open. It was hard. She wanted to look at him, to see him as he touched her, as heated lust poured into his gaze and tightened his expression.

She had waited so long for this. For his kiss, for his touch. She didn’t want to miss so much as a single sensation or one agonizingly pleasurable moment.

He didn’t give her a chance to reply. His lips moved back to hers, kissing her with a greedy hunger that had her arching closer as her fingers gripped the back of his neck, beneath the long strands of rich, silky black hair.

She had never known sensations so rich and lush, so incredibly vivid. She had had sex before, but never had it made her mindless, made her so desperate for it that all she could do was hold on and moan incoherently for more.

A keening wail tore from her throat as the fingers lodged inside her began to rub rather than thrust. He chose a spot so ultrasensitive, so wickedly heated, that she began to shake from the sensations. With his finger curved he reach high in the back of her pussy, pressed and rubbed and sent rapture electrifying her clit.

Her entire body was stretched on a rack of such incredible pleasure that she felt intoxicated. Her senses were dazed with the overload of sensations, her pussy clenching, snug muscles tightening on the two wicked fingers stroking her with diabolical torturous intent.

“There, Tey,” he panted as his lips slid from hers again. “You’re so wet, baby. So sweet and hot. So fucking tight.”

Her pussy spasmed again, her juices spilling around his fingers as his head lowered, his teeth raking against her neck while he nipped and kissed the sensitive flesh there.

The low-cut bodice of her gown was pushed aside, her breasts rising to his lips, her nipples hard, aching, as he kissed a path from one to the other.

Tehya swore she lost consciousness for a moment as his lips surrounded the hardened bud and sucked it inside with a tight, hard drawing motion of his mouth.

“Jordan … Oh God, yes,” she cried out desperately. “It’s so good. So good Jordan.”

The feel of his lips drawing on the tender tip sent exquisite, flaming pleasure racing straight to her womb. Ecstasy struck at her clit, her pussy. Fire raced through her, jerking her hips, driving her sex against his fingers as she nearly climaxed from the intensity of it.

Nearly. Almost. She was so close to coming. She could feel her orgasm just out of reach, teasing her with the promise of mindless rapture as his fingers slid back and thrust inside her, driving into the responsive tissue and stroking a maelstrom of eroticism in their wake.

“Damn you. Tey. It’s not enough. God help me, I need more of you.”

Before she could process the fact that he had moved, Tehya suddenly found herself sprawled over the low bar that separated the living area from the kitchen. Jordan’s fingers were still inside her, fucking her with forceful strokes as her hips arched, her thighs falling farther apart, while he sucked, licked, and nipped at the tender tips of her breasts once again.

She felt the wildness of his response, the hunger she had glimpsed in his eyes burning out of control as he groaned around her nipple his teeth rasping over it as his head drew back.

The blaze of lust in his brillant blue eyes seared her as he stared down at her.

“You’ll destroy us both,” he whispered as his lips moved from one nipple to its mate.

She couldn’t answer, it was all she could do to breathe. The fingers of one hand held tight to his neck as she gripped his wrist with the other, desperate to force his fingers to thrust harder, deeper inside her. To give her that extra, added sensation she needed to slip over the edge into orgasm.

She just wanted to come. She wanted that heated, destructive release tearing through her before anything could interrupt it, before Jordan could regain his control and pull back from her.

Then his fingers were sliding from her. There was no time to protest the action, no chance to make sense of the sudden desertion. His hands gripped her thighs, pushed them farther apart, and in the space of a heartbeat his tongue licked through the bare, saturated folds of her pussy.

Tehya froze. Her body quivered, so close to orgasm it was agony to wait as she stared down her body and met those wild blue eyes. Then her gaze slipped lower to watch, her breath catching, as his tongue licked around the glistening, swollen bud of her clitoris.

And he let her watch. Watch as his tongue stroked around and laved the swollen, flushed nubbin. It rubbed against the pulsing knot of nerves, sent clenching fingers of sensation spearing to her pussy, jerking her body tight and dragging a desperate cry from her lips as she tried to arch closer. Dazed, desperate, she whimpered at the burning pleasure, reaching, begging for more.

As he pushed her thighs even farther apart, his lips went lower, flickering over the quivering entrance before he thrust inside suddenly, spearing into the sensitive channel before licking with diabolical greed and wicked hunger and setting a flare to the fuse of her release.

Tehya felt herself exploding. Arching, shaking, her back came up, her fingers clenching in his hair as the rush of flames tore through her body and seared across her nerve endings in violent response.

The rush of liquid heat between her thighs had Jordan groaning into the swollen folds of her pussy.

He’d never tasted anything as sweet, as rain soft as this woman’s response to his touch. Her body was tight, shuddering, pleasure tearing through her as he brought her to orgasm, holding onto her, amplifying it with soft licks of his tongue and the little rubbing motion he used against the underside of her clit.

She was jerking in his arms, crying out his name, her voice hoarse, filled with emotion. God, he didn’t want to hear the emotion. This was one night only. It was supposed to be one kiss only, but the damage had already been done. They were both so damned hungry for this that he knew there would be no staying away from each other unless this was finished.

Then he could return to showing the world what a cold, hard bastard he really was. He would return to showing Tehya that there was no future to this, ever. That tonight was all they could ever have.

As the final pulses of her orgasm flexed against his tongue, Jordan slid back slowly, lapping at her, filling his senses with the sweetness of her before straightening, picking her up in his arms and carrying her to her bedroom.

He had been here only once before, when she first came to the Operation center. He had shown her to the small underground apartment, showed her around.

When they had stepped into the bedroom, tension had whipped in the air, even then.

It wasn’t much different now. Boxes were packed and awaiting transport rather than awaiting unpacking. The bed was larger, king-sized rather than full as it had once been.

He laid her in the center of the bed, narrowed his eyes down at her as he undressed.

Shedding the last of his clothes, Jordan watched as Tehya tossed her gown to the floor. It would have been a shame to ruin the silk, but he would have torn it from her if she hadn’t removed it herself.

Gripping the base of his dick, he fought back the need to simply fuck her. That was what he should do. He should go right to her, thrust inside her, and drive them both to climax.

But he needed more. He ached for more. He had his own fantasies to fulfill tonight, especially this one.

He watched as she sat before him, pushing her hair back, staring up at him with those witchy eyes as she licked her lips slowly.

Jordan eased onto the bed, kneeling in front of her, the overriding lust stripping away what little restraint he had held on to over the years.

His hand slid into the back of her head, delving beneath those silky curls.

“You know what I want,” he growled, almost wincing at the sound of his own voice. “Suck my dick, Tehya. Let me fuck that sweet mouth.”

Hunger flared in her eyes and he wanted to curse. He hated himself. Hated the needs that tore through him, the dominance that was too much a core part of him, and the hunger he couldn’t still for this too delicate woman.

Her lips parted for him, her little pink tongue peeking out to lick over the engorged, flushed head of his cock as rapid-fire electrical impulses began to attack his nerve endings.

Clenching his teeth, he couldn’t hold back the groan that rumbled from his chest. It was so fucking good. Her tongue was a lash of pure sensual delight on the head of his dick, the aching throb of pleasure sending waves of sensation through his balls and then across the rest of his flesh.

His fingers clenched in her hair as his thighs tightened. He swore he could feel his come building in his balls, threatening to erupt.

Holding the base tight, he rubbed the swollen head against her tongue, her lips. Watching as her eyes met his, as the engorged flesh of his cock caressed heated damp silk.

He wanted to sink inside. To feel her hot mouth closing over the supersensitive head of his dick and sucking it in. The anticipation of it was killing him.

“Suck it,” he ordered roughly. “Let me in that hot little mouth, baby. Let me fuck it like I’ve dreamed of for far too many damned years.”

He’d had too many fantasies of this. It had weakened him over the years, obviously, because he was damned if he could pull back from her.

Her lips parted.

Jordan didn’t wait for her to take him. Her lips parting was permission enough.

Holding firm to her hair, he watched instead as he pushed inside, then shuddered as a wave of heat tore through him as he watched her suck him inside.

Sweet, pink lips were stretched, reddened. Those brilliant emerald eyes fluttered closed as pleasure suffused her face. Her hands smoothed down his flanks before moving up, one hand easing between his thighs, her fingers finding the taut, responsive sac of his balls and cupping it with silken hands.

This was ecstasy.

Ah hell, he was going to lose himself in her and he could feel it. The threat of it was there. The threat of losing every promise he had made to himself over the years had the potential to destroy him.

“Fuck yes!” he hissed out as she began to move, her mouth caressing the engorged crest as she began a firm, erotic suckling with her mouth that he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out against for long. “Suck my dick, baby. Sweet, hot fucking mouth…”

His thighs burned, they were clenched so tight as her hungry mouth began to work over his cock. Her tongue lashed against the underside of the head, rubbed. The suckling pressure eased, then tightened.

Flames of hair swayed down her back, over her shoulders, caressing his thighs. Her hands were never still. One caressed his balls, the other clenched at his thigh, her fingertips rubbing against it every so often. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked the throbbing cock head in her mouth, working it with delicate greed as a moan vibrated over the aching crest.

Hell, he couldn’t hold out long. He wanted to fuck her too bad. The need to spill inside her was building in his balls, burning through his body.

“Fuck,” he snarled in desperation. He didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to lose his hold on the sight and the feel of her taking him so intimately as his hips moved, his cock thrusting against her swollen lips.

The sensual, completely absorbed look on her face ratcheted up the pleasure racing through him. He could feel his entire body tightening to the breaking point, every muscle, every cell attuned to each draw of her mouth, each flick of her tongue, each incredible stroke of her silken fingers against his balls.

Clenching his hands tighter in her hair, he fought to hold back his release, fought to hold back the groan building in his chest.

She was killing him.

Watching her, seeing the fulfillment of the fantasy that had haunted his life since the day he had first met her in Aruba, eight fucking years ago, was wearing away every objection he had used over the years to remain distant from her.

“Tey.” He couldn’t hold back the groan. “Ah God, baby.”

Hell, he swore he could feel his knees weakening further.

His hips jerked against her as he fought to keep his strokes shallow, to keep from hurting her. Damn, it was hard. He needed to be deeper inside the liquid heat of her mouth. He needed to be surrounded by her.

But pulling back from the sweet pleasure of her hungry suckling wasn’t possible, not simply because she refused to release him, but because he couldn’t make himself do it.

Her mouth tightened as he felt the blood pounding harder through his stiff flesh. His balls were agonized, the shaft flexing, release was only seconds away.

“Tey,” he said desperately. “I’m going to come, baby. Move that sweet mouth or I’m going to fill it.”

She moaned, a hungry, greedy sound that lit a fire to a sensual fuse that exploded through him with the power to weaken his knees and almost take him to the floor.

His hands tightened further in her hair. He had to be pulling the strands and couldn’t stop. The surge of sensation racing through his cock, exploding through the head and spurting from it, rocked him to his soul.

He’d never come so hard. So many years of waiting, fantasizing, and his mind was exploding with his release.

And still, it wasn’t enough.

He was still hard, the pleasure tearing through him was like a narcotic, an addiction, and he wanted more.

Somehow, he found the strength to pull her head back, watching as his still hard cock slid from her reddened lips, as those amazing green eyes opened to stare back at him in dazed pleasure while her tongue ran over her lips, the pleasure apparent in her face.

“Lie down.” He raked his eyes over the gentle lines of her body. The scattering of freckles across her nose was duplicated in a small area across the tops of her shoulders. Just the lightest hint of them beneath the skin, intriguing him, tempting him to investigate the satiny flesh.

She lay back, her breasts rising and falling quickly, her face flushed, her soft flesh sweat dampened.

“Spread your legs.” He could barely force the words out.

Tehya stared up at him, watching the wild blue of his eyes, darker, gleaming brighter than she had ever seen them.

“Beautiful.” The sound of his voice was thicker, harsher as he came to his knees before her spread thighs. “Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?”

She shook her head. She had never seen herself as beautiful. She had never believed she was beautiful. But at this moment, she felt, at the very least, pretty in his eyes. When he stared at her as though he were starving for the taste of her, his cock thick and hard, flushed, the head dark and throbbing as he came to his knees between her thighs.

“How pretty,” he murmured, reaching out to run his fingers over the bare folds of flesh.

For a second, nervousness edged at the arousal that had her dazed, almost uncomprehending.

She could see his absorption with the fact that there were no curls there, that her skin was softer, smoother than it would have been if she waxed or shaved.

Naturally bare. She had been bred to have no pubic hair. Her father had known the child he wanted, and he had chosen the perfect woman to conceive that child. And one of his requirements had been a woman whose genetics lacked the gene for pubic hair.

That thought, the memory of that past, threatened the pleasure wrapping around her.

Then he parted the folds, slid against the entrance, and two fingers pressed inside her.

Immediately her hips jerked, sensation slamming through her womb, her clit, rocking through her system with an overload of pleasure.

“So ready for me,” he said hoarsely as he came over her, his fingers sliding free as he gripped his cock and tucked the engorged crest against the entrance.

“Jordan.” She could feel him, thick and heavy, prepared to penetrate as her lashes fluttered in pleasure.

“It’s okay, baby. Everything’s okay.”

He pressed tighter.

She had waited so long. For so long she had felt teased out of her mind, desperate to have him touch her, hold her, and it was finally happening. Finally, the aching need that had tormented her for so long would be eased. At least for tonight.

Her hands lifted, her fingers gripping his hard biceps as he began to enter her, stretching her, burning her.

Her nails dug into his arms, her hips lifting, lowering, working his flesh deeper inside her as her gaze locked with his.

“Perfect,” he whispered. “That’s it, sweetheart. Fuck me back.”

Tehya shook her head as she felt her juices gather and gush at the eroticism of the command, the sound of his voice, so rich and husky. She was captivated by him, dazed by the surfeit of pleasure rushing through her.

Surging closer, she gasped, bit her lip. He was so thick, so hard, the shaft was almost bruising as it impaled her, separating her intimate flesh and forging inside each time she thrust upward.

Her thighs spread wider, each sensation merging into the one before it, building, coalescing into such sharp, fragmented shards of ecstatic sensation that by time he took control of her and forged in to the hilt, she was crying out with need, begging for ease.

“Look, Tey.” His gaze sliced from hers as he glanced down her body, pulling her gaze to the point where they met where his body disappeared into hers.

The swollen folds of her pussy were parted, glistening with wetness, cupping, enfolding the base of the hard shaft penetrating her.

The sight of it had a punch of pleasure tearing through her womb. It jerked her hips tighter against his, lodged his cock harder inside her, the head rubbing against the overstretched depths of her vagina.

She was gripping his cock, flexing involuntarily around the hard flesh. She wanted to hold him just like this forever.

As she watched, he eased back, revealing the glistening shaft until only the thickened crest remained, before pushing back inside her, slowly, deeply. The flared head stroked over ultrasensitive nerve endings, rasped against excited flesh, and sent a flood of sensations racing through her bloodstream.

As though that thrust were a breaking point, Jordan gave a harsh groan before lowering himself to her, his lips covering hers as his hips began to move with a smooth, steady rhythm.

Tehya fought to hold on to him, to meet each stroke as pleasure seared her senses and flamed through every cell of her body. Her nails dug into his upper back as she thrilled to the bunching of powerful muscles beneath toughened flesh.

Electric heat sizzled through her, fingers of it raking through her womb, her clit, her nipples. Her body was screaming for release. Each thrust of his cock rasped through her pussy, caressing the sensitive flesh with rapid-fire strokes as the agonizing pleasure surged higher, hotter.

As Jordan’s head lifted her gaze locked with his; she was mesmerized by the brilliancy of the blue, held in thrall by the hunger and the need reflected in them.

A hunger and need that tore through her, that rose with each thrust, with each forceful entry into the clenching flesh. It was more than lust. She swore she could see more there. It had to be more. The intensity of the pleasure was just too deep to be physical only. To just be lust.

“Tehya.” Her name seemed torn from his lips as her legs wrapped around his hips, her nails digging into his arms. “God yes, baby. Fuck me.”

His voice was harsher, thicker. He sounded tortured, as seeped in the agonizing pleasure as she was.

Tehya felt the waves of sensation gathering in her womb stealing her breath. The clenching tightness that echoed to her pussy, spasmed through it. Her clit swelling it further, tightening it until the pleasure and pain mixed with erotic desperation.

She could feel his cock, thicker, harder than before, as each thrust began to tighten, shorten.

Sensation began to burn in her clit, her pussy. Her breaths became moans, rising with each shocking burst of pleasure as she felt the pressure tightening inside her, burning, flaming out of control until it suddenly exploded like fireworks gone wild.

His name became a wailing moan as her hips arched. She felt her pussy tightening, clenching on his thrusting cock a second before the world melted around her.

Ecstasy began to thunder through her. A storm of sensation exploded through her in rapturous bursts, arching her body, shuddering through it as she felt Jordan thrust in hard, deep. He jerked her against him, his hard, muscular body rippling with pleasure, and he began spilling inside her.

Spurting deep and hot, his release swept through her senses as her own release seared her nerve endings and left her gasping at the intensity of her orgasm.

She didn’t know if she was breathing. She didn’t care if the world itself rained down upon them. Nothing mattered but this pleasure and the white-hot mix of sensation and emotion rising through her.

Emotion.

She had sworn she would never love, but she had known in Aruba, two years before joining the Elite Ops that it was a promise she would end up breaking.

She loved Jordan Malone.

* * *

He’d just destroyed both of them.

Jordan stared at the ceiling above him as he held Tehya in his arms and knew the mistake he had made. He hadn’t fucked her. He’d intended to, but he hadn’t. No. Hell no. He’d come much too close to making love to her.

He’d fought this for years. Fought it and sworn he’d never give in to it, because he knew it had no future. That he had no future with her. He couldn’t risk his soul to that point. If he kept her, if he gave into his need, then he’d never be able to let her go. He would allow himself to give in to that illusion that lasted forever, when he damned well knew love was the illusion, and forever didn’t exist.

And even if he was wrong, even if she was the home-and-hearth type, and the illusion could be maintained there was always the risk that his enemies, those made before his time in the Elite Ops, would find him. And when they found him, they would find his weakness.

Tehya.

She was the weakness. She was the one woman capable of breaking his control.

“Nothing to say?” she whispered from where she lay against him, obviously awake. It was too much to pray she had gone to sleep.

When he said nothing, she moved. Jordan had to force himself to let her go, to refrain from pulling her back to his chest. Where she belonged.

Rolling from his side she rose from the bed, and slowly, wearily, she collected her gown from the floor and pulled it over her head. She looked defeated. That realization tore at his concience, leaving him steeped in regret and guilt.

Wiping his hand over his face, Jordan rose as well, sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched her broodingly. Son of a bitch, this was one of the reasons he hadn’t taken her to his bed. Tehya wasn’t a one-night stand, and he had known it. Fuck, hurting her was killing him.

Hurting Tehya was something he had tried desperately not to do over the years. In all his life there had never been anyone he wanted to protect more than he wanted to protect Tehya. There had never been a woman so hard to let go.

Something he had known from the beginning that he had no choice about.

* * *

Tehya promised herself she wouldn’t cry. She fought back the tears but she couldn’t fight back the pain clenching her chest and throbbing through her heart.

She had always assumed a broken heart was more figurative than literal, but she could feel it ripping in half inside her chest. Even her bones ached, her ribs felt too tight, under pressure, as though the emotions tearing at her heart were going to burst from her skin, as well.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Those eyes. That brilliant, almost neon blue stared back at her somberly.

Irish Eyes, her friend Jordan’s sister-in-law, Sabella Blake, had told her once. Jordan had Irish Eyes; any woman lucky enough to steal his love would have a true window into his soul. Sabella had told her how she had once “seen” the horror of her husband’s torture when he was kidnapped by a drug cartel owner. That she had felt his pain, dreamed of his screams.

Tehya had always wondered what such love would feel like. She had fantasized about possessing this man’s love in such a way. A fantasy. That was all it was. A fantasy she had to let go of now.

“I have to finish packing.” She heard the hoarseness of her voice and knew she wasn’t hiding her emotions as well as she had hoped. She didn’t want him to feel responsible, or guilty that he couldn’t love her. Hell, her own father hadn’t loved her, why would any other man?

“Tehya, I don’t want to lose your friendship, either, not because of this,” he said as he pushed his legs into his jeans then rose and pulled them over his muscled legs, his gaze somber as he watched her closely.

“Are we friends, Jordan? Were we ever?” She had never felt friendship with him. Friends was the last thing they would ever be. She felt too much for him, hungered too deeply for his touch.

She couldn’t define exactly what she had felt from him over the years. She knew her own emotions had been in conflict more than once, but friendship had never been the definition she would used to describe their relationship.

“I hoped we were.” That edge of regret in his voice tore at her.

She could almost feel the pity coming, and she really didn’t want to have to shoot him. If he dared to feel sorry for her, then that would be the least of the problems he would have.

Giving her head a quick shake, she turned and walked from the bedroom. She couldn’t handle this tonight. She couldn’t stand here and discuss friendship, see the pity on his face, or confront the fact that the years of dreams had been wasted effort.

God, it had been so long. Ever since that night in Aruba when she had come to Ian Richards to help him capture Sorrel. It had been too damned long. Suddenly, she felt far older than she actually was, and far too tired to fight with herself or with Jordan any longer.

“Tehya?” Jordan followed, standing in the bedroom doorway as she moved to the pile of empty boxes and protective paper stacked next to the shelves she hadn’t yet begun to pack. Because packing meant leaving, and leaving was killing her.

Each of the trinkets had been collected over the years. There were pocket dragons, fairies, expensive little keepsake boxes. And there were pictures. Pictures of the team she had worked with, their wives, and a few included the children of those men. In some, there was an unsmiling Jordan. In one, he stood next to Tehya, an arm around her shoulders, as they stared back at the camera.

These were the past six years of her life.

She picked up the picture of her and Jordan first, wrapped it, packed it.

“Why do you think I hadn’t taken you to my bed before now?” he asked from the bedroom doorway.

She had always known why. Because once he did, she would have no choice but to leave.

“Why don’t you leave, Jordan?” She didn’t look at him, she couldn’t.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream, and she wasn’t about to do it while he was standing there watching her as though waiting for her to break apart.

Before she knew it, he was next to her, his hands gripping her upper arms as he jerked her around.

She saw the anger then. His eyes were bright with it, the blue snapping down at her, his expression tight with regret.

“I didn’t want to hurt you!”

“And you haven’t.” She wasn’t backing down from him but she was damned if she would cry for him. She wouldn’t do that to either of them.

He hadn’t done this to her, he hadn’t asked her what she felt. And how many times had he pushed her away, done everything but told her that it couldn’t happen? She had been the one that pushed for it, that dared him. She had broken her own heart.

It had been her own stubbornness, her own stupidity, that had led her here. She had known better. At least she should have known better.

Sex wasn’t love, and she could see now what he had tried to save her from. Sex couldn’t change him and sex wasn’t going to make him suddenly realize he couldn’t live without her.

Yet the anger was there inside her, as well. A feminine fury she couldn’t escape.

“Tehya, we’re friends,” he ground out furiously. “If you ever need me…”

“I didn’t need you before I came here, and I won’t need you after I leave.” Jerking away from him, she stalked to the far side of the room and faced him where the sheer power of his presence would hopefully be diluted. “It’s been fun Jordan, thanks for the memories and the sex, but you can leave now.”

“God, Tehya!” He raked his fingers through his hair, the long, silken strands falling around his face with such male, sensual disarray that she had to clench her fingers at the overwhelming need to run them through it again.

“Don’t do this, Jordan.” She had to get away from him, she had to hold back the tears. “Don’t make this harder for me than it already is. For both of us. Just leave.”

Over the years, that was all she had done, held back her emotions, held back her dreams, hell, she had held back her life in the hope, the dream, that something more than blood could fill her future.

She had obviously been so wrong. Her time here was over. The Elite Ops was shutting down and the new team coming in didn’t need her. They had their own people, their own specialties. No one needed the daughter of a white slaver. A woman who had no true specialty, no family, and no longer a reason for being there.

She had no special training. She had no true education. She was an outcast, plain and simple. Unlike the other members of the team, she didn’t have a happily-ever-after waiting for her when she walked out the doors of the base.

There would be no family waiting for her. There were no friends she could look up. She had a new identity, but she had no idea what the hell to do with it or where to go with it.

She watched as he shrugged his shirt on and buttoned it with quick, angry movements. She couldn’t miss the anger, it glowed in his eyes, tightened his body. There was nothing she could do to alleviate it either.

“I don’t want to lose contact with you.” He seemed to be forcing the words out.

He was placating her and she hated that. The last thing he would want would be to stay in contact with a woman he pitied.

She nodded slowly. “I’m sure we won’t. We have friends in common. Hell, you can always call, right?”

She doubted he would, despite the fact that he had given approval for the team members to keep the satellite phones they had been assigned, as well as the numbers.

As she stared back at him, the only other dream she had left rose in her mind. A life that she could build with the new identity she had been given, and maybe, just maybe, there was one other person in the world that she could connect with. The cousin who didn’t know her, who wouldn’t recognize her. But a cousin she might be able to build a friendship with.

She still had that fragment of a dream. The Elite Ops had at least given her the ability to walk away safe.

“Tehya.” The sound of his voice, the regret returning, was tearing her apart.

She didn’t want this. She should have never pushed him, she should have walked out of here and kept the dreams rather than the reality.

Touching him, being touched by him, feeling the first orgasm of her life that she hadn’t given herself, would destroy her now. Because she knew what it could be. She knew what she was losing, and it would haunt her every day of her life.

“I need some time.” She swallowed tightly realizing his sense of responsibility wouldn’t allow him to leave her alone otherwise.

“I can give you time.” He nodded slowly. “But not indefinitely, Tehya. The day will come soon when we’ll talk about this.”

No, it wouldn’t. When the transportation team arrived to haul away her belongings, she would already be gone. She couldn’t stay here, couldn’t bear to see him, even another moment. If she didn’t leave before morning came, then she would beg. And God knew, she didn’t want to beg for a love he couldn’t give her.

“Of course we will.” She crossed her arms over her breasts and turned away from him as she moved to the open kitchen. “We’ll talk.”

They wouldn’t talk, because there was nothing for them to talk about.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he stated.

And Tehya nodded. It was another lie. They wouldn’t talk in the morning, he wouldn’t see her in the morning, because she wouldn’t be here.

She didn’t hear him move, she felt him move. She felt him coming closer to her and tensed, knowing that the connection to him would be severed forever once she walked out of the base.

It was just over. There were no more chances to capture his heart.

She had failed. The most important dream she had ever had, and she had failed.

His hands settled on her shoulders, his hold implacable as he turned her until he could pull her against his chest.

“I should have never touched you, Tey,” he whispered as his lips brushed against her hair. “You’re too important to me to lose you this way.”

Her teeth clenched. She was going to lose it. Tears thickened her throat, pooled in her eyes. The agony racing through her was tearing her apart second by second until her heart felt like a ragged wound in her chest. She wanted to scream, to cry, to beg, and she thanked God her pride held her back.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” she informed him, amazed that she could speak, that she could breathe through the pain. “Just go away, Jordan. I’ll have it all together in the morning and we’ll forget it ever happened.”

She would never forget it. She had thought that if she could force him to admit he wanted her, she would have a chance at his heart. She had never imagined it would become one night only. What a childishly romantic thought. She of all people should know better than to believe in fairy tales.

“Tehya.” The grimace that tightened his face broke her heart.

That expression said it all. The tightening of his lips, the chill in his eyes. Dealing with her emotions, dealing with the fact that she had expected more, was a duty he’d rather be well rid of, no matter what he said.

She should have been thankful he had allowed her on the team. She, the daughter of the enemy who had murdered his friend, who had been instrumental in nearly destroying his nephew. She might have killed Sorrel, but she still had his blood. She was still his daughter. And she should have known Jordan would have never been able to love someone so closely related to such an enemy.

“We’ll talk in the morning.” Her voice was thicker. She was so close to crying it was humiliating. In that moment she hated the emotions that raged through her. She wished she could be hard, cold, that she could feel only that twinge of regret that she didn’t have the emotional capacity to care for anyone outside friendship as he did.

She watched as his head turned, his jaw tightened. Then he gave a brief, hard nod before striding to the door.

“We will discuss this in the morning,” he informed her, then opened the door and left the suite.

And then the tears fell.

The sob that tore from her shocked her. She’d been certain she could hold it in. Her knees weakened to the point that she nearly fell to the floor as her hands pressed tight and hard into the clenching muscles of her stomach.

The emotional pain hurt worse than a bullet.

She could feel the ragged, gaping hole in her chest where her heart had once been, and the agony of it was a horrible realization. She felt as though she were dying inside. As though a part of her soul were being ripped away from her.

She hadn’t thought it would hurt this bad.

She hadn’t imagined it would be this hard to face.

Returning to the bedroom, she quickly dressed in jeans, T-shirt, boots. A leather jacket was thrown over the duffel bag she had packed in the closet. A smaller backpack sat next to it.

The moving team had the address and instructions for handling her belongings. They would be stored for the time being, because she had no place to go.

All she knew was that there was no way she could face Jordan when morning came. That the ragged pain in her chest would only turn to anger, and she didn’t want the love to turn to hatred.

There was nothing left to do but to leave before she was forced to face him again. Before she could push him again, before she could plead with him to love her, beg him to tell her why he didn’t.

Before she broke down completely and a lifetime of pain and grief overwhelmed her.

How silly of her to believe he could love her when no one else ever had.

* * *

Jordan knew Tehya was gone the second he entered her suite. There was such a sense of emptiness, of abandonment, that it was unmistakable. The effect it had on him was undeniable.

She was gone.

His chest tightened with a ragged pain that had his teeth clenching, his fingers fisting. The need to hit something tore through him, nearly overwhelming his self-control.

A violent, bitter curse escaped his lips before he could cut off the sound.

Breathing out a weary sigh, he shoved his hands in his pockets and moved through the large set of rooms anyway. Just to be certain.

If she had taken anything with her, it wasn’t much. Perhaps a few changes of clothes, he thought as he checked the closet, only to see stacked boxes within them marked “Clothes.” He found the same thing throughout the rest of the suite. Boxes neatly packed, closed and taped. Tehya’s life reduced to less than a quarter of the capacity of the moving van arriving to relocate her.

He found himself swallowing tightly, his throat oddly blocked at the realization of how little Tehya had amassed over the years. Unlike the other agents, she had no secondary home, no family to go back to, no other house in which to store her belongings. She’d had nothing but the Elite Ops.

And now, she had no one.

A hard grimace contorted his face before he could control it, a result of the hard ache that clenched his chest. Fuck, he missed her already. Her laughter, her shy smiles, her almost innocent sensuality and affection for him.

He should have never taken her. Or perhaps, after taking her he should have taken her again, and again. until she was too tired to run

Turning, he strode from the suite and headed for the garage area, wondering which vehicle she had taken.

Standing in front of the empty slot where his favorite had sat, he almost grinned. She had chosen the black Viper over the many more expensive performance vehicles available. His favorite. The one he had driven more often and had claimed over the years.

Had she taken the Viper because it was the only part of him she could leave with?

She had taken much more with her than she guessed. Already he could feel the empty ache, the dark, brutal core of unrequited need throbbing in his soul.

But she was alive, he told himself as that ache threatened to roll over to grief. She wasn’t in his life, but she had a chance to have a life now. A chance to live rather than hide from the past that had haunted her.

That didn’t stop that ragged hole in his heart from bleeding, though, and damn if he had expected that. He’d expected regret, hell, he’d known he would miss her. But the ache radiating in his chest wasn’t just regret. He didn’t just miss her.

His nostrils flared as he breathed in hard and turned sharply from the parking area to stride back to his own suite.

He had let her go; holding on to her wasn’t an option. Whatever he was feeling would eventually go away, he assured himself. She had been a part of his life for too long, tempting him, trying to draw closer to him, wiggling her way inside him despite his defenses.

And it fucking hurt to lose her.

But he had lost before. Friends, lovers, coworkers. The violence that permeated the life he lived had taken them from him.

He contented himself with the fact that Tehya was alive, she was breathing, and one day she would love someone. She would laugh with him, sleep with him. She would have a life, she had never had the chance to have one before.

He had made certain she would have that chance now.

And it was too late to turn back now.