In My Desperate Time

“Open your mouth, take these pills!”

Andrew Malan pries my mouth and pours a handful of pills into my mouth.

I feel sick with dry and bitter pills sticking on my throat.

I want to throw up but Andrew Malan covers my mouth tightly. He forces me to swallow down.

I look at the man in front of me and feel a trace of disgusting.

At the office party half year ago, I met this courteous handsome man. I am impressed by him and he also had feelings for me. So we get married within half a month.

I think I could leave that house and have a happy life. But after the marriage, I begin to realize how scary this man is. Life is just from a lion’s mouth to another tiger’s den.

His eyes are red with blood which look terrible. He is nothing like the gentle and cultivated man he has been before. He takes the medicine. Medicine for that problem.

Having been married for nearly half a year, I am still a virgin.

Andrew Malan is impotent.

I never tell anyone about it.

He tries all night on the wedding day but doesn’t work. I am not a woman who must have sex. I only want him to treat me well, and sex and others don’t matter.

But having been frustrated again and again, Andrew Malan’s temper becomes worse. He often yells at me and quarrels with me as long as there is any disagreement. My mother-in-law, Susan Felton, always despises me and picks on me. She turns a blind eye to our quarrels which she doesn’t care about.

I can put up with all these things. But now he forces me to take medicine with him because he thinks I am not slutty and couldn’t turn him on.

I think he has been crazy.

I struggle to break free from Andrew Malan. I jump out of the bed, run to the toilet, scratch my throat to throw up those disgusting pills.

My hair is pulled by someone suddenly. Andrew Malan drags me roughly to the bed. He slaps me in the face. I feel a buzz in my head.

He even beats women? I must have been blind to marry him!

“Bitch, you dare to run. You are supposed to serve me after getting married!”

Andrew Malan says and kisses and bites me hard all over my body. I lie on the bed like a corpse without any reaction.

Or I don’t dare to have reactions. Because I know it clearly that even if I have reactions, this man is still impotent. Then who could satisfy me?

Obviously, I neglect the effectiveness of the medicine that Andrew Malan makes me to swallow. For somethings, even if I don’t think about it, It still can’t be avoid.

Andrew Malan touches himself for a while but there is still no reaction. He throws me on the bed exasperatedly and goes out.

Does he give up?

I run to the trash can urgently and scratch my throat with all my force. I throw up everything ate at dinner, mixed with some white pills. But I know it well that the medicine I swallowed in are more than that.

Hearing the footsteps outside coming closer, I know Andrew Malan is back. I sit back on the bed. Looking at the thing held in his hand, I am so afraid and shrink back.

Does he want to...?

Andrew Malan approaches me step by step, with a cold smile on his face, which makes me shudder.

“I can’t fuck you. If you sleep with another man, I would be insulted to be cuckolded. In that case, I might as well use this cucumber to break your maidenhead!”