Hope(less)

I knew the locations of the people around me as if my head came equipped with a giant fish finder. When I focused, a vast darkness opened in my mind. Instead of blips on a radar, tiny sparks of light shimmered, matching the location of people in the area immediately around me. The colors of the lights, always a yellow center and dark-green halo, never varied. Except for me. My spark had a vibrant orange halo, making me unique and alone. Always alone...

I stood at the entrance of the park while the bus pulled away with a screech of hydraulics. Dusk had already settled, casting shadows. Before walking my usual path through the park, I opened my senses to make sure it was as deserted as it seemed.

Though no sparks decorated the darkness in the area around me, I kept my senses open. The void was endless, but my sight did have a maximum distance. So I monitored the area around me as I walked the path and started thinking of the homework I still needed to do.

Distracted, I didn’t at first notice the pale blue light with a bright green halo lingering near the pond. There had never been a color variation before. My steps slowed. Perhaps this new color meant I could see something other than humans, maybe animals. As interesting as that would be, the idea of my sight suddenly changing worried me. What if it wasn’t an animal? What if it was someone like me? I could keep walking, and whatever the spark was would never know I saw it. But, I was too curious and hungry for answers to walk away. I stepped off the path to investigate.

The lawn muffled the sound of my approach. Near the edge of the pond, I spotted a shadow moving. It was much too large for an animal. I moved closer. The shadow continued to move, and in an instant, I identified the shape. A man. I froze in shock. He stood close to the water’s edge.

His presence didn’t freak me out as much as the lack of the normal yellow-green life-spark. In its place shimmered the oddly tinted spark. I’d actually found someone like me‒a person who had a uniquely colored life-spark. Excitement built even as caution reined me in. What could this odd coloring mean? I’d never run into any variations before. Stay or run? Investigating a color I thought could be an animal was one thing, but approaching a strange man in a dark park? Not the best idea...yet, my curiosity won.

As I edged closer to the grove of trees, I recognized the older man. I’d bumped into him, literally, a few days ago at the hospital. The man, who had kind brown eyes, a friendly smile, and grey hair, had apologized for bumping into me and continued on his way. That’s why I remembered him.

Typically, men didn’t just continue on their way after seeing me because, along with the ability to see those life-sparks, I also had a certain pull. Just on men. From adolescent to grandparent, I unwillingly drew them to me. The degree to which I affected them varied. Some just studied me like a puzzle that needed solving but forgot about me as soon as I disappeared from sight. For others, I became an obsession.

I crept forward as I watched the man sit and remove his shoes and socks. But, I stopped when he began unbuttoning his shirt. What was he doing stripping down in the park? Given his apparent age, perhaps he suffered from some type of dementia. Maybe he thought it a good place to take a swim.

When he stepped behind the trees for a moment and reemerged completely naked, I began to think he might have more serious issues than dementia.

Still debating whether I should call out to him, I gasped when his silhouette collapsed. I automatically moved forward, thinking he had fallen. My feet covered some of the distance between us before I saw he had dropped into a low crouch with his fingers touching the ground. I skidded to a stop so abruptly the grass tore up beneath my feet.

His skin rippled like sand in a current. Immobilized, I watched his body contort and fold in on itself in some places while it stretched in others. What would make him move like that? Was he sick? Something contagious? I couldn’t make myself move away. If he was hurt or sick, he needed help.

Then the sounds started. His knuckles cracked and popped, and his thumbs shrank from the rest of his fingers. I took a step back and then another. Other joints began popping in earnest. It sounded painful. Through it all, he remained silent. My pulse pounded, and I eased another step back.

His skull grew larger, longer than it was high, and his nose and mouth extended with it. I forgot to keep moving. His ears shifted higher. A grey down emerged from his exposed skin and grew into thick fur. He shook it out when his slow transformation from human to large canine completed.

My mind screamed werewolf even as it denied the possibility. Werewolves were legend, myth.

His head swung in my direction. His eyes glowed eerily from the distant lights. My paralyzing shock left me, and I ran. The park entrance beckoned in the distance, but I knew I would never make it. Thanks to my second sight, I saw him rapidly closing in on me.

Rather than allow myself to be attacked from behind, I spun to confront the big, grey beast bearing down on me. One well-placed kick to its throat, that’s all I needed to get in before it mauled me to death. Yeah, I was going to die. I braced myself.

As soon as I turned, the beast slowed to a trot. Within ten feet, it slowed to a walk. My breath still tore through my throat in ragged, terrified gasps.

A yard away, it sat on its haunches. I stared at the creature, poised to run again. Intelligent blue eyes watched me. For several long moments, neither of us moved, and a debate raged within me. What did it want? Should I run, or should I wait to find out?

Holding its gaze, I slid a foot back. It stood. I froze, heart hammering.

The creature began to circle me. I pivoted, following its progress. Finally, we stopped when it had positioned itself between me and the north side of the park—the way home. Then, it began to stalk forward, backing me toward the pond. My breathing spiked again. I didn’t want to go back to the darker area of the park. Yet, I moved backward fearing what would happen if I didn’t.

Just as I considered making another run for it, the creature sat down. What was he waiting for? Suddenly, it yipped. The sound scared the breath right out of me. As if that breath had been the signal he’d waited for, he trotted around me to his pile of clothes. There he morphed back to the man he’d been before; the transformation took less than two heartbeats.

Without perversion, I watched him dress, still too stunned and afraid to look away. I thought about running, but couldn’t ignore the fact that he and I shared a connection. Unique life-sparks. I feared what that meant for me.

While buttoning his shirt slowly, he looked up and met my wide gaze. I tried to calm down. Was he like a real canine? If he smelled my fear, would he attack? I’d been afraid since he’d changed into his fur, and he hadn’t attacked me then, so I supposed he wouldn’t now either.

My rational thoughts fled when he paced toward me with his hands in the pockets of his khakis. I tensed to bolt.

He removed one hand from a pocket and held it up, palm out, signaling I should wait. Right...

“My name is Samuel Riedel, but calling me Sam suits me just fine. I’m sorry for the scare, but showing you was the only way for you to believe.”

Believe I’m crazy? Done. I took a few steadying breaths before talking.

“Why did you show me? What do you want?” I fought hard to keep my breathing under control. My mind continued to race.

Sam smiled, turned, and walked toward a bench near the edge of the water. He sat and motioned for me to join him. A small noise of disbelief escaped me. He’d just changed into a dog large enough to pass for a pony. I stayed in the not yet dark shadows of the evergreens.

“You’re different, but not as different as I am,” he said, keeping himself turned so he could watch me.

He knew something about me? I fidgeted with the strap of my dark brown messenger bag. He could have the answers I needed to explain why I saw the lights in my head or why men acted so differently around me. The temptation of learning something, anything, rooted me. Yet there was also the possibility that he knew nothing of my gifts, that what he knew was something completely different from what I already knew.

“What do you mean I’m different?” I decided I had to be sure we were talking about the same thing before I could reveal anything more.

“You smell different. You’re not exactly human, but you’re not a werewolf either.”

Having him say “werewolf” aloud made everything I’d just witnessed surreal. How could werewolves be possible? How could I be possible? At least, I now knew I wasn’t a werewolf like him.

I still stood exactly where I’d been, yet I felt like the entire world had just changed while the crickets continued their night song.

“For clarification...no, I don’t need a full moon. No, I don’t eat raw meat, although I do enjoy medium-rare steak on occasion. And, no, silver bullets won’t kill me any better than regular ones will.” Sam chuckled while he moved over on the bench, making plenty of room, and patted the empty space invitingly. “You, dear, are not a werewolf,” he repeated.

I blinked at the absurdity of his invitation to sit with him.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, not bothering to acknowledge his invitation. I still didn’t understand why he’d shown me at all.

“You may not be a werewolf, but you are still special. How old are you?”

At five feet five inches, with a slight build and few curves to speak of, I looked young. The freckles sprinkling my nose didn’t help me look any older either.

“Sixteen,” I answered absently. “How exactly am I special?” I shifted my bag to the other shoulder.

“I was drawn to you. You have a certain scent that calls to my kind. I couldn’t name the smell for you other than to say it’s interesting, unlike anything else I’ve ever smelled.”

“Is that why guys don’t leave me alone?” What if I’d been born with more pheromones than the average person? I’d learned about them in biology. Pheromones attracted the opposite sex. It would explain the pull I had on men and why it’d grown stronger as I’d matured.

I couldn’t pin it on anything about me physically. I had straight, shoulder-length, ash blonde hair, a medium complexion, and hazel eyes like a million other girls. My nose fit my face well enough, neither too wide nor too long, and my mouth wasn’t so generous it’d give a guy dirty thoughts. No, it had nothing to do with my looks. Something else pulled them, and I wanted to understand what. Having extra pheromones didn’t explain the lights though.

“What do you mean? What guys?”

He sat forward too quickly for my comfort.