Chapter 4: Deep Pain

By Kelly

I walked over to the two drawers; they were closed and stood side by side.

I had a lump in my throat; I felt like that helpless little girl when I lost my mother—a deep pain washed over me.

I couldn’t even speak.

I tried to think of anything else, but the image of my father, holding me in his warm embrace, took hold of me.

After a long while, that rude guy came over and introduced himself.

I glared at him; he came over, presumably to tell me he was in charge.

He looked tired, but his clothes were impeccable.

I didn’t take off my glasses because my eyes were red from crying and from the exhaustion of driving all night.

That’s why I was able to get a better look at him.

I told him who I was as soon as I was sure I wouldn’t break down in tears; he already knew.

He tried to be kind, saying he was sorry for the circumstances under which we were meeting.

We already knew each other—I was born in the countryside—though it was clear that, to him, I must have been a nobody; he’d also been there when my mother died.

He’s definitely quite a snob.

I didn’t say anything back; I just stood there in front of the two coffins, watching as people came over to greet him.

I didn’t exist to anyone—maybe I didn’t even exist to my father either.

I sat down; I was overwhelmed. It seemed like he was the only one who had lost someone.

I definitely hate him.

I regretted not asking Olivia to come with me.

I ordered a coffee—I said it out loud, since they were ignoring me.

Did nobody really know that Matthew had a daughter?

The mayor and the governor of California arrived; I realized it because everyone was swarming around them, and I recognized the governor from seeing him on TV—on some show, though I don’t really follow many political programs.

Of course, the one they recognized and greeted was the young gentleman.

This time it really surprised me when he came over to me to introduce me as my father’s daughter.

They offered their condolences to both of us; they sounded insincere to me, and it seemed like they were only there because we’re really rich and own I don’t know how much land and I don’t know how many companies.

Finally, they left; I can’t stand socializing out of obligation, especially under those circumstances.

Rodolfo offered to take me to the funeral with him. “What about my car?”

He must have known I was going to say no—he did it on purpose, because he’s not a nice man and doesn’t even try to hide it.

During the funeral, I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath, swallowing the rest of them, just as Rodolfo approached to ask me if I wanted to go home.

As far as he’s concerned, I needed an invitation.

I hate him.

However, when I looked into his eyes, I could see the pain he was feeling because of the situation we were going through.

His eyes, a color somewhere between gray and green, were red—at least he’s grieving his father’s death, and I suppose mine as well.

I told him I was leaving and ran off, because I didn’t want anyone to see me crying.

In my car, I tossed my sunglasses aside and wiped away my tears more calmly; you couldn’t see inside because the windows were tinted.

I drove a few kilometers and parked.

I cried like crazy; when I calmed down a bit, I Googled a hotel to spend the night. It wasn’t dark yet, but I was mentally exhausted.

I really felt all day like a fish out of water.

I didn’t know anyone, and no one knew me.

I tried to keep my distance from everyone because everyone was distant toward me.

I felt defeated; if my father had intended to keep me on the sidelines of the countryside, he’d finally succeeded.

I even felt that my beloved car didn’t really belong there.

I was dazed; everything was silent to me. He was the one receiving all the condolences—I think we’re going to be enemies forever.

People’s mouths were like loudspeakers; they kept repeating the same thing over and over…

“I’m sorry, Mr. Rodolfo.”

“My deepest condolences, Mr. Rodolfo.”

“My deepest sympathies, Rodolfo.”

Even a woman with a country look showed up and said a few words to him that I didn’t quite catch, but from what I did hear, it was clear they were on familiar terms.

“Rodo, I’m so sorry.”

And she hugged him affectionately; then another woman did the same.

I was on the sidelines, watching it all.

I ended up looking at everyone haughtily, so no one would know how defeated I was.

I carried myself with dignity in my defeat—I didn’t want anyone to know how wildly my heart was racing.

I waited, alone and in silence, for the time to come when I could escape from there.

Luckily, my friend Olivia was sending me messages to cheer me up.

Without her support, I don’t know what I would have done.

Even the town’s streets were unrecognizable to me.

I kept looking among the people for any sign of another family my father might have.

It might have just been a thought that crossed my mind, but it was a thorn stuck in my side.

If there was anyone else, they weren’t there, so I finally dismissed my crazy idea.

I didn’t sleep very well—I kept waking up—but I knew that in my condition, I couldn’t drive.

Outside, the wide-open, silent night let me hear even the chirping of crickets.

How I miss that sound!

My tears flowed endlessly.

Why? Why, Dad, did you take me away from the countryside that I love so much?

I dreamed of showing you my veterinary degree and having you tell me it was perfect for being with you in the countryside.

The silence of the night—which wasn’t really silence at all—gradually calmed me, and even though it was early morning, I managed to get some sleep.

I woke up in an unfamiliar place, until I remembered I was in a hotel.

It wasn’t a nightmare—my father had passed away.

Finally, the face of that idiot Rodolfo Orellana Coutol popped into my mind. I hate him!

I went back to school the next day—there was no point in skipping class.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

Olivia greets me—we’re taking that class together.

“It doesn’t make sense to stay in my apartment and cry.”

“Kelly, I should have come with you.”

“Maybe. The truth is, on top of all the pain, I felt out of place—I didn’t know anyone, and everyone was offering their condolences to him.”

-“To him?”

My friend asks, not knowing what I mean.

-“That jerk, the son of my dad’s business partner—they were both in the helicopter.”

-“Did that bother you?”

-“He’s annoying. He decided to hold a wake for both of them together without consulting me—even though I would have decided the same thing.”

“If you would have decided the same thing, why does it bother you so much?”

I found myself thinking about Olivia’s question.

I sat down on the bench; we had already entered the classroom.

The other students were starting to arrive.

-“He’s unbearable—he thinks he owns the universe. He only introduced me to the mayor and the governor.”

I whispered that to her.

“Was that the governor?”

she asked, astonished, raising her voice.

“Shhh, yes, my dad’s ranch is one of the biggest in Northern California, and his companies…”

“We’ve been friends since we started college, and you’ve never really told me much about your family.”

My friend interrupted me.

“I don’t have much to say.”

I didn’t like to show off everything we had.

I consider myself a down-to-earth woman, even though I’m a wealthy heiress.

The professor arrived, and our conversation was cut short.

It’s a private college, but not everyone there was a millionaire, and I didn’t want them to find out about my financial status—otherwise, I’d be swamped by hundreds of sycophants pretending to be friends. I’d much rather have fewer friends—but real ones.

Life went on.

My father’s death pained me, even though we weren’t that close—and we weren’t, because he chose it that way.

I feel like I’m all alone; I have no other relatives—at least no close ones. My father and mother had cousins, but I don’t even know them, and I don’t want to get to know them either.

In the apartment, there were two domestic workers—trusted by my father—who had always been with us; at least that’s how I remember it. I felt just as close to them as I did to my friend Olivia.

However, I wasn’t able to accomplish my goal—showing my degree to my father.

I like animals; I wrote my thesis on horses, but I pursued my degree so my father would take me to the countryside.

I’m one step away from graduating, and I was planning to finally settle down in the countryside.

All my dreams were shattered; they were like broken mirrors, scattered on the floor.

Will that man live in my house?

Of course, the only one they banished was me.

The lawyer called me to inform me of the reading of the will.

I didn’t think there was much to say.

I’m an only child… unless he had another family, and that was the reason I never went back to the countryside… maybe I was supposed to inherit the businesses, since I was a city girl, and he left the countryside to the others.

“It will be read in conjunction with the will of Ethan Orellana Coutol.”

I didn’t like that news.

I’d have to see that man again.

Maybe I’d get the businesses and that idiot would get the whole farm.

He lived there.

That thought made me lose my composure.

“I don’t understand why it has to be this way—I’m an only child.”

“That’s how both gentlemen put it in writing.”

Damn it, I’m permanently banished from my favorite place in the whole world.

“But…”

“I’m sorry, miss, there’s nothing else I can do.”

The lawyer cut me off.

He told me the date and time.

Once again, I had to travel out to the countryside.

Wait a minute... the will was going to be read out in the countryside...

I’m going back to the countryside!

Probably so they could tell me it wouldn’t be mine anymore.

I cried like never before.

I was outraged—Rodolfo must have manipulated them to keep the farm for himself.

Everything is going wrong for me.

I don’t want new dreams—I want to make the dreams I’ve fought for over the years come true. I prepared myself to be part of that farm I miss so much.

So many things have happened to me over the years—things I couldn’t handle, like the deaths of my parents and my aunt—and I still can’t handle anything at all.

Many people wouldn’t understand how, as the heiress that I am, I can’t seem to be happy or at least find some peace.