4

Nadia

My God.

His beautiful lips were rolling. Moving. Kissing me in the slowest, most sensuous way possible.

His hand slid upward. Ever so gently it cradled my face, barely touching me as I gasped softly into his mouth.

Nadia.

The warning alarms in my head giving me a million and one reasons why this was a bad idea were all ignored.

I was kissing him back in an instant.

Titling my head to one side, as his tongue slipped past my lips and began eagerly exploring my mouth.

His body was pure, unadulterated heat. I could feel the heat radiating outward as he all but pressed himself against me, stopping only to take one of my trembling hands and reposition it on one of his hips.

Hmmm…

Our kiss became a full make-out session as we went at each other hungrily. It was as if we had been starving for each other all our lives.

No words were exchanged. Nothing really needed to be said when our tongues tangled and soft moans of pleasure escaped from my mouth. Our tongues swirled together as we consummated our mutual attraction.

Nadia!

Not even the voice of reasoning screaming at me to stop could stop me from sliding my hand on his hip upward and over.

I could feel his heart thundering, mirroring mine. His other hand went to my waist and squeezed me tight, locking me in place as he devoured my mouth.

I whimpered and moaned, writhing happily against his mouth and my noises of pleasure only made him more voracious.

And then, it was as if the spell he cast on me broke. I suddenly pulled away and put distance between us as I struggled to catch my breath.

What have I done?

He tried to reach for me but I pulled even more away from me.

“No, I ca—we can’t.”

My words came out in a gasp as I gulped in air.

“Why not?”

I almost choked on air when I saw the unmistakable want in his eyes.

He wanted me.

“No one will ever want you.”

Sebastian’s words replayed in my head. How wrong he was because this gorgeous man in front of me who just kissed me as if his life depended on it clearly wanted me and there was no mistaking it.

Only that, I can’t give him what he wants. I am married and doing anything with him would put me in the same category as Sebastian.

I refuse to be a cheater.

“It’s not cheating! It’s an open marriage.”

The little devilish voice in my head countered but I pushed it aside just like I did with the voice of reasoning while I was kissing Mr. Gorgeous.

I couldn’t deny that the kiss was amazing and probably the best kiss I have ever had but it can’t happen again.

“I am sorry.”

I apologized and tried to leave but he stopped me again. I couldn’t stop myself from melting into him when he hugged me.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting me.”

He told me but I shook my head.

“I am married.”

I reminded him.

“So what? You said it yourself that your husband wants an open marriage.”

Yeah, but I don’t want it, and giving in to him; to this would mean that I have accepted.

I don’t want an open marriage.

“I can’t do this.”

I told him.

“Yes, you can. Nothing is stopping you.”

He pulled away from the hug and made me look at him. I knew he was going to kiss me again but I couldn’t stop him because I felt powerless against the want.

When his lips met mine again, it felt like a statement. It felt like he was trying to show me just how good it would be between us and… god, I wanted to give in to the temptation.

But…

My morals just couldn’t let me do it. Despite how much I wanted to continue kissing him, I pulled away.

“Nadia,”

My name came out in a desperate plea. I couldn’t remember telling him my name.

Maybe I did and kissing him made me forget.

“I can’t. We can’t. This is not who I am. I am sorry.”

I said and this time when I pulled away, I ran out of there.

I didn’t stop running until I was downstairs. I stopped to catch my breath and I looked back. Maybe I was hoping that he would follow me and try to stop me again.

Maybe if he had done that, I would have given in but when I looked back, he wasn’t there.

Dejectedly, I walked to my car. I would have called a designated driver but I didn’t drink so I just got in the car and drove away before I gave in to the urge to go back to the rooftop and throw myself at the handsome stranger who rocked my world with just his mouth.

The house was silent when I arrived and I almost thought that Sebastian and his mistress didn’t return home until I walked upstairs and heard the unmistakable sound coming from his bedroom.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat as I tiptoed to his bedroom door.

“Oh… God… yes… just like that, Seb. Fuck me…”

They left the door open and I saw my husband with his mistress. Both of them were naked. She was on all fours and he was fucking her from behind.

My eyes blurred with unshed tears as I watched the scene before me.

I felt so stupid for turning down an offer of a night of pleasure just because I didn’t want to cheat on my marriage vows only to come back home to my husband fucking his mistress.

I watched as my husband pulled all the way out of her and thrust back in, causing her to moan loudly.

They were so loud. They didn't care that someone might hear them. What about the kids?

“What do you care?”

Yeah, what do I really care if they don’t care that their kids could hear them fucking.

Their kids.

Sebastian was talking dirty to her and she was urging him on. He never talked dirty to me. I watched him pin her head on the bed as he slammed into her hard and fast.

Something he never did with me. When I tried to spice up our lovemaking, he told me he wasn’t into stuff like that.

Now I know that it wasn’t because he wasn’t into it but because he didn’t want to do the things he does with his mistress with me.

I wonder if Hottie would have done it with me.

Seeing Sebastian so easily fuck his mistress in our home made me feel stupid for walking away from a man who wanted me just because I didn’t want to break my vows.

Vows that Sebastian already broke.

I gasped when I looked again and my eyes met his mistress’s. She saw me. Her smirk as she moaned louder as if wanting me to hear made me angry.

She rolled her hips against his cock in a way that I didn’t think was possible. Her eyes didn’t leave mine as she urged Sebastian to fuck her harder.

I couldn’t stand there and continue watching them. I felt sick. I rushed into my room and closed the door loudly.

Even though I tried to push the image away, I couldn’t stop seeing the image of him taking her from behind.

I couldn’t sleep. I could still hear them going at it. Each time her voice got louder, I knew she was trying to make me hear them.

I felt stupid. I felt like a fool for turning down the man at the club just to come home to my husband fucking his mistress.

I should have stayed with him. I should have gone to his hotel or his home with him and let him do the things that his eyes promised to me.

Tears fell from my eyes when I heard laughter from the other room. They stopped fucking and they were now talking and laughing with each other while I lay lonely and in tears.

“You fool.”

I cursed at myself for crying because of that bastard.

“Promise me that this will be the last time you will cry for that jerk.”

See? I broke the promise already. I didn’t promise him because I knew this would happen.

“You could go back there.”

The voice in my head urged me.

I could but I know better than to go back there. He didn’t chase after me when I ran.

He probably found another woman to take to his bed.

A willing woman who wasn’t tied to her stupid morals.

The thought of him in bed with another woman tonight, giving her the pleasure that his eyes promised me made me sadder than watching Sebastian fuck his mistress did.

I made up my mind just before I went to sleep that I would try again tomorrow night.

If I do find him, I won’t hold back. What’s the point of holding back?

Sebastian wants an open marriage. He thinks I won’t find anyone who would want me.

I could give him what he wants and prove him wrong.

Show him that not only does someone want me but the person was a great upgrade.

He would probably lose his mind when he finds out that I upgraded.