He is gone

Damon texts Allen when they're in the car, on the way back home. And for the whole 40 minutes it takes them to arrive, Allen is pacing out on the curb right in front of their building.

Her thoughts are a jumbled mess, and her heart won't stop pounding. All she wants is her son back, an opportunity to talk to him, and smooth things over. She absolutely hates that the boy is angry at her—probably even hurt.

Then she thinks about Damon. Allen is in no way prepared to face him again, and it's the last thing she wants or needs right now, but she doesn't seem to have a choice in the matter. She can only imagine how many questions Damon must have.

She barely wants to answer Alex's questions, let alone Damon's.

No, she does not want to see him. For reasons so much deeper than those hard, scary questions.

The Alpha abandoned her; he left her; he wanted nothing to do with her. Damon preferred going with her lover instead of against her. He chose to become a good lover and marry someone else. And while she knows it's not completely his, not really—because she knew that Damon would never ever choose her—he said he loved Rose, but Allen was shocked when she knew Damon would marry someone else, not Rose. It still hurts her to this day.

Damon didn't choose her; he didn't love her enough to stay with her.

They should be about five minutes away when suddenly it dawns on Allen just how terrible she looks.

The Omega looks down at herself; she's still wearing her horrendous yellow and green diner shirt, which is filthy. She probably reeks of fried food and all the sweat that has soaked into her shirt.

The only good thing about the shirt is that it's baggy enough to hide just how much weight she's gained since the last time Damon has seen her.

After the pregnancy, she never managed to lose all of the excess weight added to her body. Between her two jobs, Allen never really had the time to actually work out properly, or the energy, because most days she worked from morning to night. And when she wasn't working, she was either studying or making oils and creams for the few local customers she had.

Nor did she have the money to pay for a gym. Whatever money she did have left over, she always preferred putting in a college fund for Alex.

And as she threads her fingers through her disheveled hair, panic bubbling in her belly, she realizes how disgusting and messy it is, too. Not to mention the bags she must have under her eyes and no makeup to hide them.

A car comes driving from around the corner, and Allen immediately knows it's them, and not just because no one else would be driving a Porsche in this neighborhood.

The car pulls up, and as soon as Alex is out of it, Allen launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around her son's shoulders and pulling the tall boy down close to her.

Alex doesn't hug her back, but at least he doesn't push her away until Allen pulls back.

Allen cups her son's face and looks him dead in the eyes. "Don't you dare ever run off on me like that again." She reprimands, wishing she could sound more authoritative, but her voice betrays her and quivers against her will.

"I wouldn't have to if you hadn't lied to me for 14 years." Alex bites back, then pulls roughly out of his mother's hold.

"Alex..." Allen pleads in a small voice.

"No, you kept me from my own father." Ale snaps angrily, pointing vaguely behind him while keeping his eyes trained on Allen. "You have no right to make me feel bad."

"I know, and if you would just let me..." Allen tries, but Alex shakes his head and cuts her off, refusing to listen.

"Explain?" he mocks, then snorts, "Yeah, no, I'm done listening to your lies."

"I'm still your mother; you cannot speak to me like that." Allen reprimands again, this time managing to be steadier.

"Whatever, I'm getting my things and going to stay with Damon." Alex throws at her, then tries to bypass her and walk towards the building.

Allen tries to grab hold of his arm while calling after him, "Alex!" But the boy is big and strong and manages to get away, saying, "You are not going anywhere."

"Watch me!" Alex snaps, then runs back into the building, leaving Allen standing there, feeling helpless.

"Allen..." 

The Omega quickly spins around and almost chokes on a sharp intake of breath. "Damon," she whispers back, struck by the sight of the Alpha in front of her.

The young Alpha she once knew now looks like a man. A strong and powerful man. And gorgeous. Oh, so painfully gorgeous.

Then she realizes that Damon is looking at her too, scanning her with his gaze, up and down. And suddenly Allen feels overly self-conscious as she hugs her arms around herself, trying to protect herself but still feeling too exposed.

Damon must be so glad right about now that he got rid of her when he did, because Allen must look disgusting.

For a long moment, though, there's no anger or tension; there's only that familiar pull that Allen has long forgotten. That same magnetic feeling she used to get every time they were together It is as if they had suddenly gone back in time, and they were a couple again, just standing there, staring at each other in awe.

Then she shakes herself out of her daze, forcing herself into coherency. "How dare you?" she snaps angrily, taking a few steps closer.

"Excuse me?" Damon snaps back, folding his arms.

"You told him he could stay with you?" Allen asks angrily.

"Yes, he asked, and I told him that if you agreed, then he could." Damon explains, somehow still calm and collective.

"Well, then, I don't agree." Allen quickly snaps, uncaring of how childish she must sound, "You can't take him from me."

Allen's words finally manage to break Damon's composure. "Oh, you mean like you kept him from me?" he bites, and Allen can feel it sting to her core.

It takes her longer than she would've liked to respond. "You left me," she manages in a small voice. "You left me; I didn't think you would want..."

"I had a right to know!" Damon snaps loudly, stepping closer. "That was not your decision to make alone; I had a right to know, to be a part of his life."

Allen takes a moment to let that sink in as she bows her head and wills her emotions to stay as stable as possible. "Oh, yeah?" She finally bites back, "You would have found time for the bastard child from the low life Omega in your busy Alpha life? You know I still remember everything, Alpha Damon Will. "

"That's not fair. You know that I had no choice; I never actually wanted you to leave." Damon hisses through clenched teeth, "And he is my child; I would have found time for him."

A few people pass them by on the street, and Allen feels their eyes on them, suddenly reminding her that they're out in the middle of the neighborhood. "Look, why don't you come inside, and we can talk about this?" Allen suggests, trying to keep calm.

Damon looks over his shoulder at his car, then at their surroundings and the people around, then back at Allen. "Yeah, I'm not leaving my Porsche here all alone," he says in all seriousness.

Allen stares at him for a long moment, her mouth agape in shock as she tries to digest what Damon just told her. How in the world does he even respond to such a thing?

Damon continues, however, before she even has a chance to think of anything, "And it's probably for the best that Alex comes to stay with me; this neighborhood is no good."

A sharp gasp escapes Allen's lips. "Excuse me?" she finally manages.

"Perhaps if you had told me about him, you wouldn't need to raise him in the worst neighborhood in the country." Damon says it with poison in his voice, which seeps straight into Allen's nerves.

"We've been fine so far, so don't you dare judge me for the way I raised him." Allen spits back, feeling Damon's words like a punch to her gut. Because the words run so much deeper than just a jab at the place they live. "So why don't you go back to your happy hallmark life and leave us... again?"

"That's not fair." Damon quickly states with a piercing gaze.

"Oh, yeah?" Allen mocks with a snort, folding her arms. "You want to talk to me about fair?"

"Come on, Allen, you know my situation; we always knew there was a good chance that we couldn't end up together and that we would never be able to make it." Damon says in a surprisingly soft, vulnerable tone, "And yeah, I have my career and my boys, but... there hasn't been one single day in the past 15 years where I felt truly happy without you."

"Yes, we were happy wedded at the time." Allen agrees, somehow keeping her voice steady: "I can understand your fear for your love for her, but it's been 15 years; you married someone else and already have your own family. I leave my whole family because of you, because I need to end the war."

Before Damon can respond, the building door comes flying open behind Allen, and Alex comes stomping out with a small duffle bag thrown over his shoulder and his backpack on his back.

Allen quickly forgets about her spat with Damon and turns to her son instead. But as soon as she tries to reach out for him, Alex jumps out of her reach and speeds towards Damon's car, ignoring all of his mother's pleas.

"Please, Alex, please." Allen begs, but in vain.

Allen watches helplessly as her son walks towards the fancy car, then pauses just as he reaches it. Alex drops his bag to the ground, then spins around and stomps towards his mother, then envelops her in his arms when he reaches her.

As soon as her son wraps his arms around her, Allen clutches onto her for dear life. "I'm so sorry, son; I never meant to hurt you." She manages, in a soft whisper, "All I have ever wanted was the best for you."

"I know, mom, and you have given it all to me." Alex whispers back, "But it still hurts, and I'm still so mad, and I just need time."

"Take all the time you need." Allen tells him, even though every syllable hurts to say, "I'll always be here for you no matter what."

Alex pulls back to look at her, and for a moment there's no more anger in his eyes, just that sweet, vulnerable teenage boy that Allen raised. "I just want a chance to get to know my father," he whispers with a shrug of his shoulders. "I've already lost so much time with him, and I... I don't want to miss out on it anymore."

Allen nods slowly, because of course she can understand and because she could never deny her son anything. Especially not something he's always yearned for, something that Allen always kept from him.

"Okay." Allen finally whispers, "Just come back to me, okay?"

"Okay." Alex whispers back, then pecks his mother's cheek and turns away.

Alex gets back into the passenger seat of the Porsche as Allen turns to Damon, looking at him helplessly. "Please take care of him," she pleads, not knowing what else to say and knowing that her son's well-being is the thing that matters most, maybe even the only thing that matters.

"I will." Damon promises, looking just as awkward and antsy as Allen felt, and then, after a moment of silence, he goes on hesitantly, "Look, Allen, maybe we can sit and talk about all this properly?"

Allen looks at him with tired eyes and nods. "Okay," she whispers.

"Okay." Damon parrots with a nod, "I'll keep you updated."

Then Damon jumps into the driver's seat, starts the car, and drives off, taking Allen's son with him.

Allen stands staring at the road long after Damon's car disappeared around the bend, her eyes barely blinking. It's as if a part of her has been torn away from deep inside her, and her whole body aches to get it back. Her Omega inside of her howls at the top of its lungs.

The time ticks by, and Allen has no idea how much of it passes when she finally peels herself away and forces her body up the four flights back up to their apartment. All she wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep for a year or two; she's been dead on her feet for hours already with the shift she had earlier.

Then, on top of that, there were the arguments with Alex, with him finding out about Damon and running away to find him. And to top it all off, having to see Damon again after all these years has been like a stab to the gut.

To be reminded of how Damon left her, how she didn't love him enough to stay, and how well he seems to be doing without Allen. Which is only made worse by how bad Allen is doing and how terrible she looks.

Allen fights against her aching, jaded body, peels out of her clothes, and forces herself into the shower. She stands under the scalding hot shower, her arms barely having the energy to scrub herself off properly, but she does the best she can as her eyes continue to just stare blankly ahead.

A few years ago, Allen read an article about how Omega's shut down and break when their child is taken away from them. And for some reason, she just knows that Alex needs time to cool off, and she hasn't lost him, but she still feels like her little baby has been ripped from her.

There's an itchiness under her skin, a burning sensation cursing through her blood like her nerves are going wild. And no matter how much she cleans herself; she still feels dirty.

Alex is all she has in this world—her flesh and blood, the baby boy she carried inside of her. How is she supposed to live without him?

Once she's all dried off, Allen walks into Alex's room instead of her own and pulls on the sweatshirt that is lying on his bed, along with the pajama pants there. They have a strong scent of her boy, which was nowhere near enough or a replacement of the real thing in any way, but it did ease the tightness in her chest a bit.

Allen then crawls under the blanket on Alex's bed and curls up into a tiny ball, and there, wrapped up in her son's scent, all the tension that is held up inside her explodes.

Tears start streaming down Allen's cheeks as gut-wrenching sobs wrack through her in waves after waves, low whimpers and howls escaping her lips as the Omega inside of her mourns.