A Fresh Start For Fabio

These days

| MAYA |

When I first saw that pair of blue eyes from an immeasurable depth, that intense shade of caribbean sea blue screamed DANGER in large bottle letters painted neon green.

But since I'm an idiot and extremely much-adoted as a mule, there I went to get myself where I shouldn't and now... Now I'm here, hidden in the emergency stairs of the hospital where I work, sitting like an ice statue staring at the results of my foolish insistence inside a white envelope that contains all my future going forward.

I should not be afraid to open soon and accept reality for good, but I have, and a lot. But that's well done for me, who knows so, I'm not stupid and inconsequential again. It's totally my fault, not that I did it all by myself, of course not, because as two plus two are four for me to be in this situation had to have someone else's participation, however, I mean the fact that I gave my heart and my body to someone who did not want them and insisted that they be accepted.

That was my biggest and first sin. To love someone who didn't love me equally.

My mother always gave me a wise advice which I made a point of playing sideways and ignoring when I met Fabio... "Never love anyone more than yourself. If you don't love yourself first, then no one will do it for you."

Oh, if I'd listened to you in time, Mom!

My second sin, which can also be considered a medical slip, was the day I let Fabio take care of me as if I were an invalid, all because of an idiotic cold I caught after taking a torrential rain on my way home after arriving at the hospital.

My stupid neediness blinded me momentarily amid successive sneezing, hot chocolate mugs, fluffy blankets and headache and anti-thermal pills, that these damn innocent little pills could simply cut off the effect of the birth control that I took my whole life to regulate my menstrual cycle.

But I just connected on the fact that something really was out of order in me when the long-awaited menstruation didn't fall religiously as usual on the specific date. In the early days I believed that deregulation had occurred because of the stress of the new work and also the emotional shock due to the abrupt breakup of my secret relationship with Fabio. I firmly believed that an attack of rabid hormones had taken over my body thus delaying the monthly flow.

But this possibility was falling apart when the weeks passed and the month turned into the leaf of the calendar and nothing of the bad menstruation goes down. It wasn't just an emotional imbalance hormonal bar...

Then the suspicions began.

As much as I didn't exhibit the classic initial symptoms, the fear that the simple possibility would come true terrified me. What if it were true? What would I do now that I was alone and with a career on the rise? I would never subject myself to a forced coexistence with the person I love simply by a slip of a passing moment, but who could unite us in an eternal bond.

Of course, I wouldn't hide something of fabio's magnitude if it were actually confirmed, but it would take some time for that to happen. And if he doesn't want to take responsibility, all right, none of us asked for it, so I'll handle it myself. I've never needed anyone's help before for anything, it won't be now that it's going to change.

I just need strength and courage to tear the envelope as pale as my face at that time, which is in my hands and know the truth. The truth that I cautiously kept with me by asking for extreme secrecy in the lab when I did the blood test.

It's time...

I don't think I even need to read the lines and numbers that are detailed on the exam sheets, after all I'm ninety-five percent sure of what's there.

I look down to the leaves and in a quick reading I come to the conclusion that even anticipating what would be written, I realize that I was still not psychologically prepared for the impact that those few words would bring with them.

POSITIVE RESULT FOR PREGNANCY.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I repeat mentally as I fall to my knees on the ground and swing back and forth desoded by the situation.

I'm pregnant.

The word never stop spinning in my head and like a flashback, the scenes from the moment I made that mistake come back with everything in my memories.

What am I going to do? I wonder feeling the face wet by the tears that now roll freely without my impediment.

Maya? - I hear a voice calling me from afar, but I ignore it.

The pain of a broken heart and the fear of the unknown future won't let me see anything around me.

My love, what happened to you? - I feel big arms welcome me in a hug and that's where I collapse the most in tears. Talk to me, Maya.

I immediately recognize the smell and warmth that comfort me. I raise my face to look at the newcomer who had discovered my hiding place and come face with beautiful blue eyes staring at me with a certain concern and affection.

What would I do with my life without this man? João Pedro was always around in the moments when I needed it most and now it was not being different.

JP, I'm really screwed. - I hide my face in his chest and he's going to support me.

- We're going to take care of this together, my love. It doesn't matter what it is. I'm here with you so nothing else matters. -John Peter kisses the top of my head stroking my hair. We're going to solve everything, we're going to be you and me against the world, right?

And even without much conviction I agree with your promise by nodding your head. Because if there's one thing JP's good at, it's fulfilling every one of his promises. And that's what I'm going to hang on to from now on.